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25 May 2022

This England: Losing Faith

This column – which, though named after a line in Shakespeare’s “Richard II”, refers to the whole of Britain – has run in the NS since 1934.

By New Statesman

A church minister whose rescue dog Faith sank its teeth into an elderly parishioner has been ordered to pay compensation. Reverend Heidi Hercus’ “wolf-like” pet lunged for the 75-year-old woman, who was delivering a food parcel.

A court heard that the pensioner later found three or four bite marks under her right armpit and chest.
Aberdeen Press Journal (Ron Grant)

[See also: This England: Story of my life]

Leaves on the lino

Trees will not be removed to prevent leaves being deposited on pristine plastic lawns, Central Swindon North Parish Council has said.

Sales of plastic lawns were up by 20 per cent during the lockdowns. However, buyers have been told that such lawns may not be as low-maintenance as they seem. They may have to be frequently hoovered to get rid of debris from trees.
The Times (Linda Calvey)

[See also: This England: Whiskey on tap]

One’s Freedom Pass

An Oyster card made the ideal match with the royal pearls when the Queen officially opened the Elizabeth line in central London. Dressed in sunshine yellow, Her Majesty, 96, met Elizabeth line workers at Paddington Station.

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One, Kofi Duah, said he was “thrilled” to present her with an Oyster card. “I told her she can tap it on the yellow reader,” the customer assistant explained. “She said ‘Where can I use it?’ I said ‘You can use it across our line, so from Paddington to Abbey Wood.’ She said ‘Oh nice, splendid’.”
Metro (Jenny Woodhouse)

Each printed entry receives a £5 book token. Entries to comp@newstatesman.co.uk or on a postcard to This England.

[See also: Grayson’s Art Club review: a terrifying extravaganza for the bunting obsessed]

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This article appears in the 25 May 2022 issue of the New Statesman, Out of Control