A herring gull dived into a bin filled with jam and custard. The bird swooped on the container at a dessert manufacturer when the lid was briefly left open. The gull was hauled out in a net, then taken for a shampoo and blow-dry, and freed after a few days’ recovery.
Sunday Mirror (Amanda Welles)
Out to pasture
The opportunity to nod off while counting real sheep has been unveiled. The “Shleep Sanctuary” in Sussex is a dome boasting views of a field full of… sheep.
Mattress firm Emma Sleep has launched a contest offering two people the chance to try it when it opens next year.
Metro (Michael Meadowcroft)
[See also: This England: Supermarkets shushed]
Middlesbrough shoppers were left bemused when CCTV speakers began making nonsense announcements.
Emma Martinez was walking through the town centre when she started
to hear a voice. One broadcast started, “Good morning, good morning, good morning, and what a lovely day it is. Rise and shine,” before playing
jolly jingle music. Another, sounding like the voice of Boris Johnson, said: “We intend to unite and level up across the whole of our United Kingdom.”
Andrew Glover of Middlesbrough Council explained: “This is a temporary installation as part of Middlesbrough Art Weekender.”
South West News Service (Steve Morley)
A ton of bricks
Police are hunting a Lego thief stealing thousands of pounds’ worth of the toy bricks from supermarkets across Suffolk.
Sunday Mirror (Daragh Brady)
[See also: This England: Nature calls]
This article appears in the 28 Sep 2022 issue of the New Statesman, The Truss Delusion