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31 August 2022

This England: Pie in the sky

This column – which, though named after a line in Shakespeare’s “Richard II”, refers to the whole of Britain – has run in the NS since 1934.

By New Statesman

In a letter sent to the mayor of Leicester, the animal rights group Peta has called for officials in the city to rename the Leicester’s Pork Pie Roundabout to promote healthier food.

The organisation said the junction should be called Vegan Pie Roundabout to “help reduce Leicester’s concerning obesity rates”.
Sky News (Steve Morley)

Piggy in the middle

Two police officers in Great Yarmouth apprehended a pig after it was caught eating residents’ gardens. The officers tracked down the large black hog and took it into their care. Enquiries at the scene suggested the pig was a pet, but no owner has been found.

The officers judged that it was “a bit harsh to arrest the pig for criminal damage”, so instead took it to a local animal sanctuary “before it turned to bacon in the heat”.
Norfolk Live (Amanda Welles)

[See also: This England: Story of my life]

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Political affairs

Conservative activists will be offered free condoms at this year’s party conference. The prophylactics – featuring humorous slogans such as “strong and stable” and “honourable member” – will be handed out by the LGBT+ Conservatives group.

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The group’s chair, Elena Rose Bunbury, said: “We all know people like a good time at conferences, and we’re here to help ensure that happens safely.” They have ordered 500 protective items for the four-day event. “We don’t know if that’s enough,” said Bunbury.
BBC (Steve Morley)

[See also: This England: Quack thinking]

Each printed entry receives a £5 book token. Entries to or on a postcard to This England.

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This article appears in the 31 Aug 2022 issue of the New Statesman, The Liz Truss Doctrine