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30 August 2023

This England: Canine division

This column – which, though named after a line in Shakespeare’s “Richard II”, refers to the whole of Britain – has run in the NS since 1934.

By New Statesman

Canine division

A smartly dressed dog has been taken into care after police were called over concerns its owner was intoxicated and not looking after it.

The dog – dressed in a blue shirt – was recovered by British Transport Police at Wolverhampton rail station.

He was temporarily kept in a police van and officers posted a photo of the pet peering out the window.

BBC West Midlands
(Robin Lustig)

Going dotty

A man who paid £2,000 to have thousands of tiny dots tattooed on his head says he feels “21 again”.

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Anthony Donnellan, 44, a falconer from Prestwich, opted for “scalp micro-pigmentation” – rather than a traditional hair transplant – when he began going bald.

The process involves tattooing permanent ink dots, designed to recreate the look of shaved hair.

He joked: “My wife lets me in the bed now. I don’t have to sleep on the couch.”
Daily Mirror
(Steve Morley)

Swear on his life

A joke blue plaque has been installed to commemorate a man made famous for swearing at seagulls.

The honour was cheekily bestowed on Huw Davies from Aberystwyth, who had previously been memorialised with a joke plaque on his favourite bench after he passed away. It read: “In loving memory of Huw Davies. Used to sit here and shout ‘F*** off!’ at the seagulls.”

A blue plaque has now been spotted in Mr Davies’ name near the seafront. It reads: “Huw Davies. Taxidermist & Swearing Enthusiast Lived Here.”
Powys County Times
(Daragh Brady)

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[See also: Fish first]

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This article appears in the 30 Aug 2023 issue of the New Statesman, The Great Tax Con