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9 November 2022

This England: A potty situation

This column – which, though named after a line in Shakespeare’s “Richard II”, refers to the whole of Britain – has run in the NS since 1934.

By New Statesman

Firefighters have freed a two-year-old whose head got trapped in a toilet seat after she tried to wear it.

Kay Stewart was alerted by cries of “Mammy – I’m stuck” to find daughter Harper’s head stuck in the toilet-training seat. Harper’s teenage sister called the Tyne and Wear Fire and Rescue Service for help after trying with her mother to free the toddler. Crews said Harper had been “very brave” as they used small tools to remove the seat.
BBC North East & Cumbria
(Christopher Rossi)

[See also: This England: Better late than never]

Book him

A driver who crashed his car into a village library has been arrested. A Mini Cooper was covered in books in Derbyshire.

Shocked librarian Helen Sunter said: “I didn’t know I would find a car parked inside the library.”
Metro
(Daragh Brady)

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Making a splash

A toddler inspired by her favourite cartoon character, Peppa Pig, who loves jumping into muddy puddles, has won the World Puddle Jumping Championship.

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Luna Rudd, from Northampton, impressed judges with the height of her jumps, enthusiasm, distance of splash and her leap’s stickability – the amount of mud left stuck to each competitor.
The Times
(Amanda Welles)

[See also: Kamila Shamsie Q&A: “Ali Smith’s books force me out of pessimism”]

Mind that bauble

Motorists were forced to take evasive action when two giant Christmas decorations careered down Tottenham Court Road in central London.

Some likened it to a scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where Indiana Jones flees a giant boulder. It is thought the balls were blown from a shop in high winds.
Metro
(Michael Meadowcroft)

Each printed entry receives a £5 book token. Entries to comp@newstatesman.co.uk or on a postcard to This England.

This article appears in the 09 Nov 2022 issue of the New Statesman, On the brink