As liberalism sighs its last breath, and the world spirals down a drain stained with racism, there is but one constant. We’ll always have hashtags.
The latest smidgen of fun in the dead-eyed dystopia of people arguing online over to what degree the new President-Elect is going to encroach upon our rights is #PresidentTrumps1stTantrum. People who oppose Donald Trump have been using it to imagine what ridiculous scenario will make him most furious, most immediately.
Here are a few:
Gets into Twitter fight with his own parody account #PresidentTrumps1stTantrum pic.twitter.com/h5EtO8cLMM
— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) November 15, 2016
Not able to make Ivanka his first lady #PresidentTrumps1stTantrum
— Michael Blackman (@ParaComedian09) November 15, 2016
Trump orders investigation into People Magazine for not naming him #SexiestManAlive. Called the process “rigged” #PresidentTrumps1stTantrum
— BJG (@therealGrable) November 15, 2016
He went ballistic when the bust he ordered for the Oval Office came back without hair #PresidentTrumps1stTantrum pic.twitter.com/sj1QazD14H
— Aidan forgets why he (@aidno) November 15, 2016
LEGO turns out to be the lowest bidder for the wall contract.#PresidentTrumps1stTantrum
— Jeff Dwoskin (@bigmacher) November 15, 2016
None of the former presidents came to my inauguration party #PresidentTrumps1stTantrum
— Judith Cole (@AuntCole22) November 15, 2016
Putin refuses to send nudes. #PresidentTrumps1stTantrum
— Toni Summer (@ToniSummer3) November 15, 2016
#PresidentTrumps1stTantrum
Not allowed to turn the White House orange— Blake Raab (@N4BWR) November 15, 2016
February now known as orange history month. #PresidentTrumps1stTantrum
— Brandon Cloud (@theclobra) November 15, 2016
And of course, as it began to trend, the Trump supporters started using it too. Your mole is too mournful to list these. It doesn’t feel much like laughing. It’s too busy remembering a happier time when hashtags were sacred, and women’s reproductive rights weren’t roundly threatened.