Some of the tweets quoted below contain strong language.
7 January @DrSamuelJohnson Flop-hair’d Foulmouth Mister Jonathan ROSS has fled the BBC, afear’d of a publick Hanging from the Tory MOB.
20 January @reelmolesworth amey WINEHOUSE giulty of asault at pantomime O NO SHE ISENT cri defence counsel – pehaps not the best legal strateggy hem hem
7 February @MTuckerNo10 For fuck’s sake. Dinner with Miliband tonight. Can’t remember which one. Does it matter?
27 March @thefuckingpope Chocolate eucharist has arrived! It’s delicious!
28 April @TheDearLeader So Hugo Chavez is on Twitter. Big deal. Tell him to call me when he commands a million-man army. (Seriously, Hugo: Call me. I’ve got plans.)
8 May Queen_UK #ge2010 awful dream. Woke up convinced that one was heading for a con-lib government and visions of Cam-Clegg audiences. What? Real? Fuck!
15 May @theashcloud My head is saying earn their trust back . . . but my heart is saying disrupt the flights . . . what’s a cloud to do?
1 June @BPGlobalPR The oil leak was caused by a natural gas explosion, or sea fart, which is now having silent but deadly consequences. #bpseafart
11 June @FacebookPR Facebook Fun Fact: Every 9 seconds, we end a marriage. #didyouknow
18 June @DrSamuelJohnson The colonial Congress endeavours to block the Oil-Well by heaving Brick-Bats at hapless Fuel-Drudge Mister Tony HAYWARD
11 July @the_vuvuzela Goal kick. BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Slide tackle. BZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZ. Routine pass. BZZZZZ BZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
15 July @BPGlobalPR Well, that wasn’t so hard.
5 August @FEMINISTHULK HULK NEED EVEN BIGGER CAPS TO EXPRESS HULK JOY AT PROP 8 DECISION!
14 September @DrSamuelJohnson Bedlamite Harlequin Lady GAGA goes about clad in raw Meat, doubtless to delight her derang’d carnivorous Molly Disciples.
28 September @Queen_UK Text from David Miliband: “Your Majesty, should I stay or should I go now? If I go there will be trouble. If I stay it will be double”
1 October @FacebookPR Don’t believe everything you see in “The Social Network”, it’s only like 99% true
6 October @chilean_miner I don’t care if it is one of my five a day. I’m not having another one of Ernesto’s moss smoothies
29 November @lord_voldemort7 Wikileaks has made me glad that my preferred method of secret communication is a mark burnt into my co-communicator’s flesh.
30 November @Julian_Ass On the bus, old man in front of me was playing “got yer nose” with his grandson. “IT’S HIS THUMB!” I screamed. The truth must be told.
11 December @CherylKerl Dorty woak backstage. Matt’s telt One Direction Santa’s nut real. Thor distraught man. Snot an teeaz evereewhor pet
14 December @BigSocietyNews Source bone marrow yourself for your upcoming transplant and get £1.00 off the price of a hospital phone card.
20 December @FakeAPStylebook “Now I Have a Machine Gun: Ho Ho Ho” is not an acceptable headline for the drunken mall Santa rampage story