Support 100 years of independent journalism.

  1. Politics
17 April 2011

The royal wedding: there’s no escape

The best/worst of the press on the weekend Wills and Kate took over the media.

By Sophie Elmhirst

It was inevitable: two weeks away from the royal wedding and the British media has succumbed. If you are sick of reading and hearing about the wedding already, I suggest you do not leave the house, open a newspaper or engage in even the vaguest way with the internet. However, if you’d like a selection of absurd wedding-related material, read on.

1. The ultimate weak link. BBC News Magazine has come up with the kind of entirely pointless article that has nothing to do with the royal wedding at all, but has something to do with weddings and is thus deemed worthy by association: the “Plus-One Invitation Dilemma“. Yes, it is as urgent as it sounds.

2. At last, Wills and Kate’s astrological compatability. Thank you, Shelley von Strunckel. This is the kind of analysis we’ve been craving: “With the expansive, friendly and independent Jupiter prominently positioned, he’s already thinking about how to modernise royalty and be an inspiring king.”

3. A “cult classic”, says the Daily Mail. To what great cinematic triumph could they be referring? Donnie Darko? Not quite. Drum roll, please: William and Kate: the Movie.

Sign up for The New Statesman’s newsletters Tick the boxes of the newsletters you would like to receive. Quick and essential guide to domestic and global politics from the New Statesman's politics team. The New Statesman’s global affairs newsletter, every Monday and Friday. The best of the New Statesman, delivered to your inbox every weekday morning. A handy, three-minute glance at the week ahead in companies, markets, regulation and investment, landing in your inbox every Monday morning. Our weekly culture newsletter – from books and art to pop culture and memes – sent every Friday. A weekly round-up of some of the best articles featured in the most recent issue of the New Statesman, sent each Saturday. A weekly dig into the New Statesman’s archive of over 100 years of stellar and influential journalism, sent each Wednesday. Sign up to receive information regarding NS events, subscription offers & product updates.
I consent to New Statesman Media Group collecting my details provided via this form in accordance with the Privacy Policy

4. “As for the British aristocracy, it’s pathetic. All that snobbery is ridiculous today.” Thank you, Martin Amis, for talking sense to Le Nouvel Observateur (quoted by the Telegraph). In other Amis highlights, Prince Charles apparently has a laugh like a “pig’s snore”.

5. Actually brilliant. The comedian Tim Key’s poem for the occasion, which contains the immortal line: “The Queen clenched her fist, Henman-style”. Watch courtesy of the Observer here (and ignore the Cisco ad at the beginning: that’s not Tim Key).