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12 November 2010updated 27 Sep 2015 5:40am

How Obama stole Christmas

A new Tea Party book takes aim at the "Liberal Claus".

By George Eaton

Liberal Clause

Just in time for Christmas, failed Tea Party candidate David Hedrick has released his own fiery anti-Obama polemic: The Liberal Claus(e): Socialism on a Sleigh.

The Liberal Claus(e) tells the story of how a town is taken over “Liberal Party of Elves,” a sinister troupe of socialists led by Barry “Liberal Claus” Obama and Elf Peloosi. Obama proceeds to convince the townsfolk that the “Christmastution” has a “Liberal Clause” (geddit?) that grants him unlimited power. But his approval ratings soon turn negative as his place of birth is questioned (“Are you even from the North Pole?” asks one elf) and he comes under attack from Ox News.

The book, whose author is currently on trial for allegedly assaulting his wife, features guest appearances by Stalin (see below), Chairman Mao and the evil “Reverend Blight“.

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Stalin

The story concludes with the defeat of the Liberal Party of Elves and the triumph of the Elves’ very own Tea Party. An all-too-accurate ending.