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31 July 2018

Here are 11 things you could have done with the time you spent watching Love Island

Or... you could have just watched Love Island.

By Sarah Manavis

With 42 one-hour episodes and roughly 30 minutes of extra time each week, viewers who didn’t miss a single episode of this year’s Love Island watched 46 hours of the show over the course of June and July. Now that the show is over, Love Island fans, and more widely, people who hate Love Island despite never watching it, are pondering what people could have done rather than spend an hour a day watching the reality sensation.

Here are just 11 productive things you could have done with 46 hours aside from watch a show that is largely wholesome and enjoyable:

1. Take a day trip to Hong Kong

Presuming you can get a direct flight, it takes 12 hours to get to Hong Kong and thirteen hours to get back. Sleep on the plane, two hours of travel on either side to get to the airport and wait for your flight, and you’ll have a splendid 17 hours of fun to spend in Honkers.  

2. Watch seven seasons of The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross

You could become a master painter of mountains, trees, gardens, and squirrels with the help of landscape legend Bob Ross. In 46 hours, you could have watched 91 episodes of his total 403.

3. Listen to “Crank That” by Soulja Boy 745 times

The Billboard Hot 100 hit from the summer of 2007 could be listened to 745 times in a matter of 46 hours (with a minute or so to spare.) You could also watch this video 550 times to learn the dance that goes along with it.

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4. Get shredded

Working out three to four times a week is predicted to get you ripped in potentially three months. But, if you’re spending every day, bar one rest day a week, in the gym you could feasibly be shredded in a matter of two months. Equally, you could take up a sport – football, tennis, yoga, snooker – and be not embarrassingly dreadful at it.

5. Beat Pokemon Ruby on Gameboy Advance

According to this scientific study, the average pace of play for Pokemon Ruby on a Gameboy Advance would mean beating the game in a matter of 35 hours’ time. This means that you’d even have an extra 11 hours to spare, where you could make a head start on Pokemon Sapphire.

6. Read 552 hot takes from commentators complaining about Love Island

As the average adult reads 300 words per minute, and estimating an average of 1,500 poorly thought-out words from each commentator, you could read over 500 pieces about a show that the writer complaining about it has never watched.

7. Taxidermy an entire bear and deer head

Taxidermy for a whole bear takes roughly 30 hours (presuming you’ve gone through the process to become, and now are, a professional taxidermist.) This leaves you an extra 16 hours, the perfect amount of time to stuff and mount that deer head you’ve been putting off for weeks.

8. Create a 2,760 tweet thread

This set of Quora responses says that the average tweet takes about a minute to write. This means that, instead of watching Love Island, you could have tweeted up to 772,800 characters about god only knows what.

9. Ride the Central Line from start to finish 33 times

Rather than visually transporting yourself to Majorca for an hour a night, you could have physically done so around London for an hour and 22 minutes a day, taking the Central line from West Ruislip to Epping in 40C heat.

10. Knit a 18.5ft x 4in long scarf

In a matter of 46 hours, knitting at an electric nan pace of two feet every five hours, you could have a scarf the length of three exceptionally tall men.

11. Listen to Donald Trump’s Trump: The Art of the Deal audiobook four and a half times

Trump’s first book and “classic work” is a nine hour, 59 minute listen – brought alive in spoken word by Donald Trump Sr. himself. Although you could listen to this to this four times and get halfway through a fifth listen, you could instead spend the extra six hours diving into and finishing its sequel, the Art of Survival.

Or… You could have just watched 2018’s Love Island. And participated in a fun national phenomenon. One that distracted from the demise of the modern world around us almost every day. And the heat. And was fun.

But who’s to say.

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