If you want this choice position,
Have a cheery disposition
Rosy cheeks, no warts;
Never be a media source!
White House staff chiefs must be witty,
Never call the president petty
Keep his briefings short and sweet,
And ignore his morning tweets
Do not mention Robert Mueller
That just makes him even crueller,
Love him like your son or daughter,
Never let him near the launcher
No one wants this poisoned chalice,
Who’s in charge now at the palace?
The stakes are high and if you fail,
You are probably going to jail.
If you don’t scold and condescend him,
Your life will still be humiliating
He’ll brief the Times behind your back
Ignore all your advice,
Then fire you in a tweet.