Keir Starmer courageously sidestepping actually naming Elon Musk in his condemnation of the “lies and misinformation” disseminated on X was a dodge that perplexed Labour ministers and MPs. One usually loyal red boxer nervously clocked the omission before concluding it may have been a simple oversight. A more sceptical backbencher interpreted the unuttered words “Elon” and “Musk” as fresh evidence a herbivorous Starmer is terrified of triggering a war with Trump. No 10 insisted everybody knew who the PM was referring to, so there was absolutely no need to name the Tesla boss. Buy that Downing Street line and for £1,000 you can purchase the Tower of London which, “cough”, is mine to sell.
Bowler-hatted Labour battleship Alan West, a former first sea lord, was dismayed to discover his desk had vanished when revisiting a yesteryears berth. The room in the old War Office on Whitehall is now a suite in the five-star hotel Raffles, where a night’s board and lodging exceeds by some margin the peer’s £361 tax-free daily allowance. Lord West of Spithead designated the missing work surface as furniture of historic significance. When waters were choppy with the CIA, the ermined seadog reminisced within earshot of a radar-lugged snout, Brits would defuse American ire by telling them John Profumo and Christine Keeler had sex on that very desk.
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