If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck. Yet Rachel Reeves has banned the A-word – austerity – despite benefit cuts and squeezed public spending plans, even before tantrum-toddler Trump’s trade tariffs send her back to the Treasury abacus. The diktat emerged during a meeting of the Fire Brigades Union parliamentary group chaired by the Scouser Kim Johnson. Newly elected union general secretary Steve Wright was denouncing “a return to austerity in any form” when a voice piped up at the back: “You can’t call it austerity,” cried a Labour MP. “Rachel’s banned us from using it.” Mutters of confirmation from Westminster comrades leave 2025 very 1984. Welfare cuts are increased help; less is more and austerity is record spending.
Kemi Badenoch’s campaign to be toppled as Tory leader gained momentum with her defence of Israel’s detention and deportation of Labour’s Yuan Yang and Abtisam Mohamed. Kemikaze’s betrayal of the rights of all MPs irrespective of party triggered anguish on her benches deeper than that caused by shadow cabinet member Richard Fuller publicly distancing himself from her position. “She’s lost her compass,” despaired a former minister, “and a couple more of her few allies. The only happy Tories are Robert [Jenrick] and James [Cleverly].” Surely it’s only a matter of time.
Spending a personal fortune to cling to his Surrey seat may feel a poor investment to Jeremy Hunt as he wanders aimlessly around Westminster. The businessman, who in October 2022 became the fourth Tory chancellor in just over three months, muddles along with humour. Hunt’s mutated a Gordon Brown joke by quipping there are two types of chancellor: those who can count and those who can’t. Not everybody gets it immediately. Laggards are presumably in the can’t-count camp.
Pat McFadden’s Cabinet Office has revived an earlier crisis by initiating simultaneous recruitment drives for permanent secretaries in three major departments, replacing departing female mandarins. Salaries of up to £200,000 heading Justice, Transport and Science mean the Sir and Dame Humphreys will top the PM’s pay packet. Ex-civil servant Sue Gray wanted the rate for the job at £170,000, which then was £3,000 above Sarmer’s salary.
The No 10 joint communications chief James Lyons – who plays Mr Nasty to spinner-in-arms Steph Driver’s Ms Nice since Matthew “Just Stop” Doyle’s departure – isn’t afraid to mix it. The ex-TikTok and NHS PR man and Daily Mirror hack was, recalled a fellow scribbler, dubbed “rat boy” by a savaged David Cameron. Perhaps Keir Starmer recognised his comms required extra bite.
Kevin Maguire is the associate editor (politics) of the Daily Mirror
[See also: The slow death of the Royal Mail is a parable of the modern British state]
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This article appears in the 10 Apr 2025 issue of the New Statesman, Spring Special 2025
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