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  1. Politics
26 October 2016

Pro-Trump site “reveals” Hillary Clinton’s “hitman and secret sex fixer” to be… Ed Miliband

Unsubstantiated cobblers? Why not spice it up with a picture of the former leader of the Labour party awkwardly standing?

By Media Mole

The weekly pro-Trump supermarket tabloid, The National Enquirer, ran an unsubstantiated story recently allegedly quoting a former Hillary Clinton bag carrier. The source, described as a “hitman” and “fixer”, provided a WORLD EXCLUSIVE!!!! about all the things that Clinton supposedly made him do – involving (hold your horses, America!) sex and money.

The story was picked up by a pro-Trump site called American News, and other murky corners of the internet’s alt-right, and illustrated with an even more bollocks (if that’s possible) photo. It’s a picture of Bill Clinton shaking Nick Clegg’s hand – with Ed Miliband lurking nearby, giving them the side-eye.

Looks familiar, right?

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But never mind that this photo was taken three years ago at Nelson Mandela’s memorial service. Never mind that it accuses the former leader of the UK Labour party of being in the pocket of the Clintons. Never mind that even the circle highlighting him was copied from the Mail. Never mind that Ed Miliband, face furrowed in suspicion, hand damply resting on his front, resembling an awkward and aggrieved butler, would be the last person to have the wherewithal to arrange discreet sordid liaisons anyway. It’s a picture on the internet, folks!

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Let’s take our country out of the hands of these failed innocuous Bridish politicians and make America great again!