Mark Watson was born in Bristol in 1980. He is a comedian – known for his gigs in unusual locations – and a novelist. In 2019 he staged a 26.2-hour live show to coincide with the London Marathon.
What’s your earliest memory?
My dad brushing my teeth and explaining we were going to Canada for a year. I don’t know whether this was the first I’d heard of it – it feels like pretty short notice – but then I was only three, so I probably hadn’t been heavily involved in the decision-making.
Who are your heroes?
If we can stretch “childhood” to 15 or 16, which seems fair enough, then probably Jarvis Cocker. As an adult, I’m a great admirer of Derren Brown, and I once had a hot dog with him which went pretty well. So if he does qualify as a hero, then it isn’t true that you shouldn’t meet them.
What book last changed your thinking?
Oliver Burkeman’s Meditations for Mortals. I find him really refreshing and invigorating on the subject of life’s finitude. But I’d say all good books change your thinking in some way.
What would be your Mastermind specialist subject?
Not to brag, but I’m looking at a Mastermind trophy right now, and my specialist subject was The Canterbury Tales. I also once did it on the World Cup since 1966. My knowledge of the universe is pretty strong if you leave out the roughly five and a half centuries between these events, and all other subjects, I suppose.
In which time and place, other than your own, would you like to live?
It depends on the duration we’re talking about. I’ve long been interested in the Middle Ages and I’d definitely go back to 14th-century London given the time machine which is sometimes offered in interviews of this sort. But I don’t think one would have a high quality of life there, and one plague or other would probably have picked me off by my current age of 44.
Who would paint your portrait?
Not to come back to Derren Brown too tediously, but he is a very talented painter on top of everything else. Normally takes on far more famous subjects, of course, but, well, if you don’t ask.
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
Work for how much money you actually need to live, and devote all the time you have beyond that to being happy, creative or fulfilled rather than chasing more money. Like most great advice in life, I’ve followed it selectively, shall we say.
What’s currently bugging you?
My left foot is aching. Thank you for reaching out.
What single thing would make your life better?
Spending more time in Australia. I am a very good version of myself there, generally, but it’s awfully far away. So we’ll say, instead: being better at focusing on the things I have rather than endlessly coveting what I don’t.
When were you happiest?
Without wishing to be saccharine – and in the full knowledge it can all collapse very easily – I’d say that, in the present period of my life, I’m pretty much as happy as I have been.
In another life, what job might you have chosen?
I would have liked to have been a football commentator. I still would be delighted to do that, in fact, but I wonder if 20 years as a comedian would mean that the career switch would be treated with scepticism.
Are we all doomed?
In the end, I suppose. But let’s not worry about it for a bit.
Mark Watson’s “Mortification” is published in paperback by Phoenix
[See also: Rachel Reeves’ fiscal nightmare]
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This article appears in the 15 Jan 2025 issue of the New Statesman, The Disruptors