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2 October 2024

Severely provoked, I retain my chastity with bittersweet regret

Experience has taught me that the best way to behave when being shouted at by a woman is to suck it up and say sorry.

By Nicholas Lezard

Beep! Beep! I am getting ready to go out to the David Gilmour gig at the Brighton Centre, an invitation-only event which I have been looking forward to all week. David Gilmour once ate the last piece of hardened brie while looking despairingly into my fridge at the end of my 50th or 51st birthday party.

“This place reminds me of how we lived before we made any money,” he said. Still, water under the bridge and all that, so it was very nice to be invited.

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