Egad, I am now so old I remember hat sizes
And use words like egad.
By
Nicholas Lezard
Nicholas Lezard writes the Down and Out column for the New Statesman.
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My mother is in hospital
So I seek the consolation of cats.
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Clothes unmaketh man
Consider my outrage: a landlady refused to serve me. I was sober.
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Brighton and Hove buses are great
While others dream of Machu Picchu or Mandalay, I dream of Hangleton or Worthing.
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A little outsourced admin later and I am slightly less poor
After 35 years, it turns out freelancing can pay off.
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I gave up on a work ethic at school and never looked back
I’ve been fighting the grind ever since I was first given homework.
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It’s always sunny in Alicante
The cuisine is excellent and the wine so cheap it makes me want to cry. But there’s one thing…
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In my shopping basket I see a feast of brown
I have become more dependent on the staples of Englishness.
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My weak bladder gives me an insight into the White House
Perhaps I have more in common with Donald Trump and Elon Musk than I thought.
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