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4 January 2023

This England: Santa jam

This column – which, though named after a line in Shakespeare’s “Richard II”, refers to the whole of Britain – has run in the NS since 1934.

By New Statesman

A vintage armoured vehicle filled with Santas had to be freed by police after getting stuck in a Cornish lane. The Santas, who were believed to be on a pub crawl, got wedged in a hedge.

Devon and Cornwall Police were called after reports that a vehicle had been damaged. Ian Jepson, who shot video footage of the jam, said the lane was blocked for about two hours.
Global Herald (Mark Ireson)

Walruses come first

A seaside town’s fireworks were cancelled on the advice of wildlife experts due to the presence of a wandering walrus. The mammal, known as Thor, popped up in Scarborough on Friday afternoon. The Arctic walrus is taking a break during a journey north.

Scarborough Borough Council cancelled the town’s New Year’s Eve fireworks display on the advice of British Divers Marine Life Rescue.
Sky News (Kate McIntosh)

Name-dropping

Police have spent three months struggling to find a man with his own name tattooed on his forehead.

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Kieran Bond, 19 – who has “Bondy” inked over his right eye – failed to turn up in court. He is accused of making threats with an offensive weapon.
Daily Mirror (Amanda Welles)

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Dylan on the cobbles

Bob Dylan has been offered a walk-on role on Coronation Street after revealing he is a fan of the TV soap. The 81-year-old songwriter could “sing karaoke with Ken Barlow and Rita Sullivan” during an open-mic night at the Rovers Return pub if he agreed to appear, producer Iain MacLeod told the Telegraph.
Metro (Jenny Woodhouse)

[See also: This England: Going, going, gone]

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This article appears in the 04 Jan 2023 issue of the New Statesman, Sunak Under Siege