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Ben Stiller is Anthony Scaramucci: casting the inevitable Donald Trump movie

Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

With every passing day, American politics feels increasingly like the farcical movie it will, inevitably, be turned into one day – who needs artistic licence when you have Kremlingate, press secretaries replaced faster than Spiderman actors an– oh God, is this really real life, how is this happening?!

Anyway, here are the people we’d cast in Donald Trump: The Movie.

Donald Trump – Jon Voight

There are so many people that come to mind as Trump – Alec Baldwin, Martin Sheen, a hologram of Philip Seymour Hoffman, but it feels like a just punishment for Trump supporter Jon Voight to have to play out all of Trump’s catastrophic mistakes on the big screen. Plus, that leads us to…

Melania Trump – Angelina Jolie

Tell me this double casting wouldn’t be perfectly creepy and disgusting.

Ivanka Trump – Jennifer Lawrence

Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

Jared Kushner – Paul Dano

We know that Dano can do simpering and creepy – plus they have the exact same lip-to-face ratio!

Eric Trump – Jonah Hill

With Tom Felton as a close second.

Barron Trump – Jacob Tremblay

They’re the same age, have a definite physical resemblance – and Tremblay has previously appeared in a film where a small cute child finds himself trapped by his father in a hellish misogynistic nightmare.

Anthony Scaramucci – Ben Stiller

That Zoolander pout and that well-practiced look of hurt shock will come extremely in handy in this role.

Sean Spicer – Melissa McCarthy

Because how could it be anyone else?

Steve Bannon – Timothy Spall

He’ll have to regain the weight he lost – but he’s perfect.

Hillary Clinton – Meryl Streep

Just, obviously.

Kellyanne Conway...

Patrick Stewart.

Anna Leszkiewicz is a pop culture writer at the New Statesman.

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Our union backed Brexit, but that doesn't mean scrapping freedom of movement

We can only improve the lives of our members, like those planning stike action at McDonalds, through solidarity.

The campaign to defend and extend free movement – highlighted by the launch of the Labour Campaign for Free Movement this month – is being seen in some circles as a back door strategy to re-run the EU referendum. If that was truly the case, then I don't think Unions like mine (the BFAWU) would be involved, especially as we campaigned to leave the EU ourselves.

In stark contrast to the rhetoric used by many sections of the Leave campaign, our argument wasn’t driven by fear and paranoia about migrant workers. A good number of the BFAWU’s membership is made up of workers not just from the EU, but from all corners of the world. They make a positive contribution to the industry that we represent. These people make a far larger and important contribution to our society and our communities than the wealthy Brexiteers, who sought to do nothing other than de-humanise them, cheered along by a rabid, right-wing press. 

Those who are calling for end to freedom of movement fail to realise that it’s people, rather than land and borders that makes the world we live in. Division works only in the interest of those that want to hold power, control, influence and wealth. Unfortunately, despite a rich history in terms of where division leads us, a good chunk of the UK population still falls for it. We believe that those who live and work here or in other countries should have their skills recognised and enjoy the same rights as those born in that country, including the democratic right to vote. 

Workers born outside of the UK contribute more than £328 million to the UK economy every day. Our NHS depends on their labour in order to keep it running; the leisure and hospitality industries depend on them in order to function; the food industry (including farming to a degree) is often propped up by their work.

The real architects of our misery and hardship reside in Westminster. It is they who introduced legislation designed to allow bosses to act with impunity and pay poverty wages. The only way we can really improve our lives is not as some would have you believe, by blaming other poor workers from other countries, it is through standing together in solidarity. By organising and combining that we become stronger as our fabulous members are showing through their decision to ballot for strike action in McDonalds.

Our members in McDonalds are both born in the UK and outside the UK, and where the bosses have separated groups of workers by pitting certain nationalities against each other, the workers organised have stood together and fought to win change for all, even organising themed social events to welcome each other in the face of the bosses ‘attempts to create divisions in the workplace.

Our union has held the long term view that we should have a planned economy with an ability to own and control the means of production. Our members saw the EU as a gravy train, working in the interests of wealthy elites and industrial scale tax avoidance. They felt that leaving the EU would give the UK the best opportunity to renationalise our key industries and begin a programme of manufacturing on a scale that would allow us to be self-sufficient and independent while enjoying solid trading relationships with other countries. Obviously, a key component in terms of facilitating this is continued freedom of movement.

Many of our members come from communities that voted to leave the EU. They are a reflection of real life that the movers and shakers in both the Leave and Remain campaigns took for granted. We weren’t surprised by the outcome of the EU referendum; after decades of politicians heaping blame on the EU for everything from the shape of fruit to personal hardship, what else could we possibly expect? However, we cannot allow migrant labour to remain as a political football to give succour to the prejudices of the uninformed. Given the same rights and freedoms as UK citizens, foreign workers have the ability to ensure that the UK actually makes a success of Brexit, one that benefits the many, rather than the few.

Ian Hodon is President of the Bakers and Allied Food Workers Union and founding signatory of the Labour Campaign for Free Movement.