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2 March 2022

This England: Pet rescue

This column – which, though named after a line in Shakespeare’s “Richard II”, refers to the whole of Britain – has run in the NS since 1934.

By New Statesman

Pet rescue

A mountain rescue team came to the aid of a hamster whose owners took it on a rocky walk. Frappuccino was with a girl, 11, and her mother who got lost in the dark after walking in the Brecon Beacons. The Central Beacons Mountain Rescue said the family, “including their little furry companion”, were warmed up by rescuers.
Metro (Amanda Welles)

[See also: This England: Story of my life]

Take a hike

A foul-mouthed phantom who swears at passing walkers is being investigated by ghost-hunters. A “woman in white” has been seen at a beauty spot called Dead Woman’s Ditch, in the otherwise idyllic Quantock Hills, Somerset, with reports claiming that she has been telling visitors to “f *** off”.

The profane poltergeist was first reported two years ago. All then went quiet but now she has apparently returned with her anti-social outbursts. But not everyone in the area is convinced. Local resident Dean Morgan said: “It all sounds a bit Scooby-Doo to me.”
Daily Mirror (Daragh Brady)

[See also: This England: Attack of the clones]

All over the shop

Victoria sponge instead of sponge scourers, duck paste rather than duct tape and sausage rolls in place of toilet roll were among the stranger substitutions to turn up in shoppers’ online grocery orders. Which? found not all substitutions were bad, however, with one Asda shopper getting three £60 bottles of whisky to replace three £25 ones that were out of stock.
Yorkshire Post
(Michael Meadowcroft)

[See also: This England: Once in a blue moon]

Each printed entry receives a £5 book token. Entries to comp@newstatesman.co.uk or on a postcard to This England.

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This article appears in the 02 Mar 2022 issue of the New Statesman, Hero of our Times

Select and enter your email address Your weekly guide to the best writing on ideas, politics, books and culture every Saturday. The best way to sign up for The Saturday Read is via saturdayread.substack.com The New Statesman's quick and essential guide to the news and politics of the day. The best way to sign up for Morning Call is via morningcall.substack.com Our Thursday ideas newsletter, delving into philosophy, criticism, and intellectual history. The best way to sign up for The Salvo is via thesalvo.substack.com Stay up to date with NS events, subscription offers & updates. Weekly analysis of the shift to a new economy from the New Statesman's Spotlight on Policy team. The best way to sign up for The Green Transition is via spotlightonpolicy.substack.com
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