New Times,
New Thinking.

13 September 2017

6 things you can spend £70 a month on that are better than an iPhone X

More chicken nuggets than you've ever dreamed of. 

By Jason Murugesu

The iPhone X will cost £999 when it comes out in the UK on 3 November 2017. Though it has not been confirmed, a contract is expected to set you back £70 a month. Here’s what else you could spend that money on:

1) All the streaming services

The streaming wars have broken families and destroyed friendships. Have you watched Transparent? No – I have Netflix like normal people! Have you watched the new JAY-Z video? Who the hell has Tidal?

With £70 a month, this will never happen to you again. You will be the most up-to-date pop culture swot in the whole kingdom. Peace in our times!

2) 350 individual chicken nuggets from McDonald’s 

This needs no more explanation. 

3) A different pair of glasses every fortnight 

Two pairs of glasses for one from Specsavers for £69 is all well and good if you think a winter and summer pair are enough. That’s so 2010. Take advantage of the deal every month, and every two weeks you have a different look and so a different personality, so even more people will like you.

Select and enter your email address Your weekly guide to the best writing on ideas, politics, books and culture every Saturday. The best way to sign up for The Saturday Read is via The New Statesman's quick and essential guide to the news and politics of the day. The best way to sign up for Morning Call is via
  • Administration / Office
  • Arts and Culture
  • Board Member
  • Business / Corporate Services
  • Client / Customer Services
  • Communications
  • Construction, Works, Engineering
  • Education, Curriculum and Teaching
  • Environment, Conservation and NRM
  • Facility / Grounds Management and Maintenance
  • Finance Management
  • Health - Medical and Nursing Management
  • HR, Training and Organisational Development
  • Information and Communications Technology
  • Information Services, Statistics, Records, Archives
  • Infrastructure Management - Transport, Utilities
  • Legal Officers and Practitioners
  • Librarians and Library Management
  • Management
  • Marketing
  • OH&S, Risk Management
  • Operations Management
  • Planning, Policy, Strategy
  • Printing, Design, Publishing, Web
  • Projects, Programs and Advisors
  • Property, Assets and Fleet Management
  • Public Relations and Media
  • Purchasing and Procurement
  • Quality Management
  • Science and Technical Research and Development
  • Security and Law Enforcement
  • Service Delivery
  • Sport and Recreation
  • Travel, Accommodation, Tourism
  • Wellbeing, Community / Social Services
Visit our privacy Policy for more information about our services, how Progressive Media Investments may use, process and share your personal data, including information on your rights in respect of your personal data and how you can unsubscribe from future marketing communications.

4) Dating sites 

There is no point being so fashion forward if you’re single, depressed and lonely. You cannot put a price on love. But Tinder is so passé. 

EliteSingles is close to £40 a month. Add that to the more mainstream (those commoners are still good for a one-night stand) and you’ve covered every market. 

5) Buy Twitter Followers and sponsor all your Facebook posts

Forget love – popularity is all that counts.

6) Monthly downpayment on a tomb

Am I only the one who feels jealous when I walks past a Victorian cemetery? Rather than a phone that you will inevitably drop down a toilet one day, leave a legacy in the form of hard, impervious, rock. 

NB: Whatever you decide to spend your  money on, when you encounter someone who has actually spent £70 a month on an iPhone X, the correct response is: “I thought about it but actually I decided to give the money to my favourite charity instead.”


Content from our partners
Peatlands are nature's unsung climate warriors
How the apprenticeship levy helps small businesses to transform their workforce
How to reform the apprenticeship levy