Wes Streeting is on the charm offensive

Your dose of gossip from this year’s Labour Party Conference in Liverpool

Wes Streeting was relentlessly on message in Liverpool at Labour’s jamboree but may still have an eye on No 10 should Keir Starmer be ditched sometime soon. The Health Secretary was overheard muttering he was playing good cop to Andy Burnham’s bad cop. Strolling past a camera crew’s bananas on the floor, Streeting quipped he wasn’t going to be filmed holding the yellow fruit. David Miliband was mocked relentlessly for holding aloft a banana at Labour’s Manchester conference in 2009, the merciless ridicule ending an attempted coup to replace Gordon Brown. Savvier Streeting isn’t going to slip up.

Sticking with Streeting for a mo, the premiership isn’t the only alternative position he’s linked to. The Health Sec’s troubled by a rumour he was about to be dispatched to the Home Office, a renowned ministerial graveyard (though Theresa May did still make it to No 10). Streeting, so goes the gossip, hatched a cunning plan to avoid this fate: he’d tell Starmer he is in favour of the UK leaving the European Convention on Human Rights, a document close to the PM’s lawyerly heart. And Streeting was spared the move. Fellow ministers take note.

Burnham himself made no secret ahead of the Liverpool gathering of his yearning to be top dog. Dropping out of an evening rally with the Mainstream grassroots group only a few hours before it was due to start triggered feverish speculation he was nobbled, or cancelling a headline-grabbing tour of the fringe. The reason was far more Burnham-esque. The Merseyside-born Greater Manchester mayor had tickets to see his beloved Everton play at their sparkling new stadium. The 8pm kick-off against West Ham meant he didn’t have time to hang out with a bunch of tricksy left-wingers, instead preferring to watch Jordan Pickford and Jack Grealish. The struggle takes many forms.

The PM and his cabinet’s purported love of St George’s crosses didn’t earn them conference accreditation. Flags were on a long list of things – including hunting horns and drones – delegates were banned from taking into the secure zone. Poor Yvette Cooper must have struggled without her garage full of St George’s bunting and tablecloths. A Palestinian flag did get through and was waved by a heckler at Rachel Reeves’s speech. The most patriotic cause spotted on a flag by the New Statesman outside the conference was one reading “RIP badgers”. Raise the colours!

The Blue Labour vibe of Lord (Maurice) Glasman and co was alive and well at the Labour conference. On opening night, Glasman’s group, which wants Labour to get back to its working-class roots, gathered in the basement of an old-school Liverpool pub, the Denbigh Castle, for welcome drinks. The largely middle-class selection of MPs, wonks and hacks present made full use of the boozer’s dartboard for an impromptu tournament. Glasman couldn’t make it but one of his disciples cooed: “Maurice would be so proud of us.” Bullseye!

Sauntering 60-somethings deputy chief whip Mark Tami and Labour peer Kevin Brennan were thrilled to be stopped and filmed by Liverpool John Moores University students for a street-fashion project. Brennan’s natty red glasses and Tami’s colourful spotted tie marked them out from the beige crowd. Both required reassurance it wasn’t a wind-up. Discretion kicked in when Tami was asked for his number to be sent the footage. The Daily Mail screaming “Starmer enforcer in fashion sting” wouldn’t be a good look.

Starmer was light on jokes, heavy on politics during a traditional tour of receptions. A Geordie at northern night grumbled the PM rambled for far too long. The good turnout at Welsh night confirmed Labour concerns over next May’s Senedd elections if the party is squeezed by Reform on the right and Plaid Cymru from the left. Guests were treated to speeches from the Wales Secretary, Jo Stevens, and another from the PM himself but the cabinet turnout raised eyebrows. The Energy and Health Secretaries and Attorney General all tipped up too, plus Labour’s Scottish leader, Anas Sarwar. Worried, much?

Fallout from Starmer’s reshuffle goes on. Overlooked Labour MPs, particularly women, grumble that if you’re not called “Josh” you’re less likely to be promoted. A “Josh” is now a collective noun among certain disgruntled backbenchers for the new-intake boys’ club, after Josh newbies MacAlister and Simons both enjoyed a leg up. The ignored aren’t joshing.

It wouldn’t be conference season without Steve Bray’s megaphone and boombox. Decked out in his signature EU top hat and holding a “Bollocks to Brexit” banner, his are noisy receptions outside the entrance. Expert-dismissing, former Tory cabinet minister turned Spectator editor Michael Gove was heckled for his role in securing the UK’s exit. Gove, carrying a neat Daunt Books bag, appeared unfazed. Climate Secretary Ed Miliband was probably relieved. “Don’t worry, Ed,” brayed Bray. “I won’t make you eat a bacon sandwich.”

Morgan McSweeney was spotted posing for selfies with party faithful in the Pullman Hotel conference HQ. Politics as showbiz for very powerful people.

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[Further reading: The delusional joy of Labour conference]