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1 September 2021updated 06 Sep 2021 5:58pm

This England: Weapon of choice

This column – which, though named after a line in Shakespeare’s Richard II, refers to the whole of Britain – has run in the NS since 1934.

By New Statesman

The 3,500 blue and yellow deckchairs that Bournemouth Council rents out have been locked away in case they are used to hit council staff.

Vikki Slade, a former council leader, says officials made the decision after scenes of antisocial behaviour last year. The council has forsaken £200,000 in hire fees, but said that safety came first. 
The Times (Amanda Welles)

[See also: This England: Flight of fancy]

Deserting the donkeys

Councillors are set to weigh plans to hold a pride festival in Seaford, following objections from a group of local residents. Lewes District Council is set to decide on whether to grant a licence to the inaugural ­Seahaven Pride Festival.

Objectors argue the event would be “unsuitable” for the town. In a joint objection, Reverend Peter and Norma King said: “We are very unhappy about this event going ahead instead of the usual Donkey Derby.”
The Argus (Adam Penwarden)

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[See also: This England: Don’t get the small stuff]

Booze cruise

A man is embarking on a 1,800-mile tour on a 50cc moped of places with rude and funny names. Paul Taylor, from Oxfordshire, is making the charity fundraising trip in memory of a friend who died of cancer. His journey will begin in Shitterton, Dorset, and will take in locations such as Twatt in Orkney, Booze in the Yorkshire Dales and Pity Me in Durham.

“Everyone starts a long journey like that from Land’s End to John O’ Groats – I wanted to do something similar, with a bit of twist,” he said.
BBC South (Daragh Brady)

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[See also: This England: Get into jail free]

Each printed entry receives a £5 book token. Entries to comp@newstatesman.co.uk or on a postcard to This England.

This article appears in the 10 Sep 2021 issue of the New Statesman, Labour's lost future