I know diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but still, I think I would baulk at the idea of swallowing half a dozen decent-sized sparklers, to be retrieved later via a process involving vodka, olive oil and (oh, don’t ask!) a cut-glass rose bowl. (OK, you asked: basically, it does for a chamber pot.) Surely even a semi-professional lady thief would find it easier and more appealing simply to slip said stones into the pocket of her Dorothy Perkins jacket before calmly leaving the jewellery shop, whose owner, Bernard, has just affronted her by indulging in some light frottage during a stock take. But what do I know? The only thing I have ever stolen is a heart.
This, though, is my only reservation (so far) about Joan, a six-part drama based on the real-life adventures of Joan Hannington, the upmarket jewellery thief extraordinaire. If it’s not quite as good as the BBC’s outstanding The Gold, about the 1983 Brink’s-Mat robbery, it’s still highly pleasurable. Precision casting, tight and understated writing by Anna Symon and wraparound peroxide: what’s not to like? After two episodes, I was so beguiled I added Julio Iglesias’s 1981 version of the easy-listening classic “Begin the Beguine” to my Spotify playlist – and without any embarrassment. How great to see a show that’s both unexpectedly compelling and replete with egg yolk-coloured Ford Capris and lopsided Human League bobs.
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