Support 110 years of independent journalism.

  1. Culture
9 November 2011

Stop messing with Jane Austen!

Murder mysteries, zombie horror stories, eye-watering erotic novels - why does everyone rewrite Pride & Prejudice?

By Helen Lewis

It is a truth universally acknowledged that anyone who writes about Pride and Prejudice cannot resist riffing on its deliciously measured opening sentence. Granted, they never improve on the original – nor do the adaptations that have tried to capitalise on its enduring appeal. The only one that comes close is Andrew Davies’s BBC series, although even here Colin Firth’s damp shirt and Elizabeth and Darcy’s closing-credits smooch gave the purists palpitations.

I’d happily name Pride and Prejudice as my favourite novel. Spending the past year studying its forebears (particularly Frances Burney’s fabulous but flawed novels Evelina and Cecilia) has only made me appreciate it more. It’s happy without being mawkish, structured without being sterile and waspish without being arch. And what is the response of the publishing industry to such perfection? A temptation to meddle.

The grande dame of detective fiction™, P D James, is the latest author to commandeer my beloved Lizzie Bennet for her own ends. In the newly published Death Comes to Pemberley, Darcy and Elizabeth have been married six years when “their peace is threatened and old sins and misunderstandings are rekindled on the eve of the annual autumn ball”. Up rocks Lydia Wickham to announce that her no-good husband has been murdered.

Death sentence

I’ll reserve judgement until I get to the end, but at least James begins well. Her opening sentence has enough of the cadence of the original to please the devoted Austen fan without straying into burlesque: “It was generally agreed by the female residents of Meryton that Mr and Mrs Bennet of Longbourn had been fortunate in the disposal in marriage of four of their five daughters.”

Select and enter your email address Your weekly guide to the best writing on ideas, politics, books and culture every Saturday. The best way to sign up for The Saturday Read is via saturdayread.substack.com The New Statesman's quick and essential guide to the news and politics of the day. The best way to sign up for Morning Call is via morningcall.substack.com
  • Administration / Office
  • Arts and Culture
  • Board Member
  • Business / Corporate Services
  • Client / Customer Services
  • Communications
  • Construction, Works, Engineering
  • Education, Curriculum and Teaching
  • Environment, Conservation and NRM
  • Facility / Grounds Management and Maintenance
  • Finance Management
  • Health - Medical and Nursing Management
  • HR, Training and Organisational Development
  • Information and Communications Technology
  • Information Services, Statistics, Records, Archives
  • Infrastructure Management - Transport, Utilities
  • Legal Officers and Practitioners
  • Librarians and Library Management
  • Management
  • Marketing
  • OH&S, Risk Management
  • Operations Management
  • Planning, Policy, Strategy
  • Printing, Design, Publishing, Web
  • Projects, Programs and Advisors
  • Property, Assets and Fleet Management
  • Public Relations and Media
  • Purchasing and Procurement
  • Quality Management
  • Science and Technical Research and Development
  • Security and Law Enforcement
  • Service Delivery
  • Sport and Recreation
  • Travel, Accommodation, Tourism
  • Wellbeing, Community / Social Services
Visit our privacy Policy for more information about our services, how Progressive Media Investments may use, process and share your personal data, including information on your rights in respect of your personal data and how you can unsubscribe from future marketing communications.
THANK YOU

If only the same could be said of Seth Grahame-Smith’s effort, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. This was received with hysterical acclaim on its publication in 2009, leading to sequels, spin-offs and whispers about a film adaptation. (Blank-eyed, unthinking, inhuman characters, you say? Finally, a Pride and Prejudice film Keira Knightley will be good in!) It had a spirited go at the first line – “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains” – but honestly, inserting your own prose next to Jane Austen’s is only going to make one of you look bad. “What an excellent father you have, girls!” Mrs Bennet tells her zombie-hunting daughters. “Such joys are scarce since the good Lord saw fit to shut the gates of Hell and doom the dead to walk among us!”

The ultimate liberty taken with Lizzie, however, must be in Mitzi Szereto’s Pride and Prejudice: Hidden Lusts, which describes itself as a “reimagined red-hot Regency romance”. I don’t want to steam up your magazine by quoting from it, but suffice it to say that it’s the type of erotic novel that uses the word “manhood”. I’m extremely proud to be prejudiced against it.

P D James’s “Death Comes to Pemberley” is published by Faber & Faber (£18.99)

Content from our partners
What you need to know about private markets
Work isn't working: how to boost the nation's health and happiness
The dementia crisis: a call for action

Topics in this article :