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18 September 2024

This England: Christmas comes fir-ly

This column – which, though named after a line in Shakespeare’s “Richard II”, refers to the whole of Britain – has run in the NS since 1934.

By New Statesman

A festive fir tree popped up on a high street in Bromley, south-east London as temperatures reached nearly 30°C. Shoppers and passers-by were left scratching their heads – 25 December is months away. Christmas, alas, hasn’t quite come early. The council said the tree is there as a prop for filming on location for a star-studded movie. Scenes for Pillion, starring Alexander Skarsgård and Harry Melling, were shot in August.
Metro (Darius Barik)

Just a short sentence or two

Prisoners who spend the night in Scottish police cells are to be asked how they rated their stay, it has been revealed. The “custody user-experience survey” will be sent out by text message to those who have been in police custody. The general secretary of the Police Federation, David Kennedy, told BBC Scotland News: “I find it all rather bizarre.”
BBC Scotland (Steve Morley)

Not-Dead Ted

The myth of cats having nine lives was tested to its limit when Nicci Knight’s beloved feline Ted walked through the catflap after being “cremated”. Knight, from Newby, North Yorkshire, was on holiday in Turkey when she was told by neighbours that Ted had drowned in their pond. She arranged for a funeral to take place in Thornaby while she and her family where away – but four days after the ceremony, Ted walked back into their home. Knight soon realised she had paid £130 to cremate someone else’s cat.
Guardian (Kate McIntosh)

[See also: This England: Told down the river]

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This article appears in the 18 Sep 2024 issue of the New Statesman, What’s the story?