Culture 22 July 2013 How the NS celebrated the last royal birth: "A thankful nation's overjoyed / To have three million unemployed" A poem by Roger Woddis. Sign up for our weekly email * Print HTML Demijohn To commemorate the birth of the Royal baby, the Daily Telegraph published “A Nativity Ode, with apologies to the Poet Laureate”. Once all our vigil fears were gone, They rushed to bend the knee, Sir John, And we must thank the Telegraph For giving Britain such a laugh. You would have blushed with shame, or worse, If you had penned such ghastly verse, But something makes this crap unique – It wasn’t written tongue-in-cheek. “From her there shines a son.” (I quote). You’d shudder if you ever wrote Appalling lines like these, Sir John. “The moon did run” – I can’t go on. Only a dried-up soul and sour Would fail to celebrate the hour When any woman’s time is due And both of them come safely through; But if one lifts a flowering glass, (Whatever else the State affords, It’s not the Marsden’s cancer wards.) Come, let us look to our defences And go for panem et circenses: A thankful nation’s overjoyed To have three million unemployed. 25 June 1982 › The Home Office continues scaring the shit out of immigrants Subscribe from just £1 per issue More Related articles How Wilson "Wicked" Pickett was his own worst enemy The hidden history of Catholics in Britain From white trash to the whitelash: what do white people want?