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8 June 2022

This England: Cat on an oil rig roof

This column – which, though named after a line in Shakespeare’s “Richard II”, refers to the whole of Britain – has run in the NS since 1934.

By New Statesman

A friendly one-eyed black cat called Dexter who was found on a North Sea oil rig has been reunited with his Peterhead owner – after being missing for five years.

Dexter, who had been named Jack by oil rig workers and was also known as One-Eyed-Joe at Grampian Prison in Peterhead, where he often visited, is a well-known cat in the Buchan town.

It is believed that he must have boarded an oil rig supply ship last week.

Scotland’s animal welfare charity was alerted to the cat and collected him yesterday after he continued his adventure with a personal helicopter ride back to shore.
Aberdeen Press & Journal
(Ron Grant)

[See also: This England: Story of my life]

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Bad hair day

A thief who stole £50 of luxury shampoo wore a hoodie in the dock – telling magistrates his hair was a mess. Liam O’Reilly, 42, was told: “It should be lovely with all that John Frieda.” He must pay £50 compensation to Boots in Darwen, Lancashire.
Metro
(Daragh Brady)

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[See also: This England: Better late than never]

Fan the flames

The BBC has apologised after a message appeared on the news channel saying “Manchester United are rubbish”. The text mistakenly popped up on the news ticker at the bottom of the screen during a tennis update.

Presenter Annita McVeigh apologised to any Manchester United fans who were offended. She said the mistake had occurred as someone was learning how to operate the ticker and was “writing random things”.
BBC News
(Neil Stone)

Each printed entry receives a £5 book token. Entries to comp@newstatesman.co.uk or on a postcard to This England.

[See also: I’m not fluent in Patriotism but loved my Jubilee street party]

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This article appears in the 08 Jun 2022 issue of the New Statesman, Marked Man