The pram was once the preserve of woman alone, her little automobile in which to place Baby Johnny, son and heir, and proudly wheel him round. Men went out to work and never bothered with prams, let alone pushed them. Somehow, things changed and now men also get involved in childcare. This is when they discover that the world of buggies is a terrifying place. Women manage to gloss over the awfulness of moulded polycarbonate; men, however, lack this skill. Where they want to see a Bentley Arnage drophead coupe in darkest navy with cream leather seats, there is instead a Graco Mirage travel system in palest turquoise or tangerine, with contrasting piping. Just looking at one can sap the life force from you.
Thus it is that one sees scared men pushing their child around, eyes full of shame: their pram is ugly. In 2003 this country saw the launch of something revolutionary – the designer pram. The Bugaboo was stripped to its bare essentials of aluminium frame, four wheels instead of eight, and a block-coloured seat (no patterns) that also came in black. So what if the underseat bag was almost useless? It looked good. Every man wanted one; it was the buggy Chris Martin, Tim Burton and Sam Mendes bought. “Despite it costing more than my first car,” said one male friend, “I had to have it. I couldn’t be seen with anything else.” For a whole year it was the only pram men would willingly buy, then last year Stokke launched the Xplory, a space-age-looking stroller that lifts your child high “away from exhaust fumes”.
The search for nice-looking prams has spawned various websites. The best by far is www.daddytypes.com. The owner of this blog, Greg, wants to “liberate dads from polka-dotted strollers” and says that “nothing hurts more than having to meet the crestfallen gaze of another new dad pushing his brand new, calico-quilted, grocery cart-lookin’ travel system”. On the site, fathers from all over the world tell each other, with heart-warming solidarity, about stylish prams they have spotted. If a particular buggy has not yet launched in their country, they have been known to ship it in at any cost. Prams are discussed and test-driven; Kurt, “one of the first Xplory owners in the US”, files a report from Boulder, Colorado: “I was amazed by the handling . . . and it fits into the back seat of my BMW M3 convertible.” Hans from Vancou- ver recommends the Chariot Cougar XC CTS, which comes with its own skis. Bloggers track down limited-edition bits of kit. The new buggies to look for are the Quinny Buzz (automatically unfolds for one-handed operation); the Zapp (slogan: “Size does matter”), which folds smaller than any other; and the not-yet-launched Koelstra K73, a 1970s-inspired Ford Capri of a pram (once looked so ugly, now looks so good).
There are two types of stroller-pushing dad: he who acknowledges other cool-buggy dads and stops to talk about the merits of pneumatic over rigid tyres, or the one who pretends he hasn’t seen but sees all. This latter sees how stripped-down the other dad’s pram is: the really hard-core do without bag, rain cover or hood. A buggy like this is known as Perfect. Women, with their fussy, frilly ways, are not allowed to accessorise the pram. It is much harder to spot cool-buggy dad in the sum- mer months, however, for this is when the parasol attachment makes an appearance, and all hope is lost.
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