9 reasons Nick Clegg is perfect for Facebook

Here’s why they’re a match made in heaven

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Here to ruin our Friday, the Financial Times broke the news that ex-MP and ex-leader of the Liberal Democrats Nick Clegg will be joining Facebook as their Head of Global Affairs and Communications this January. Twitter was immediately flooded with people screaming about why they think this is a terrible match, given Clegg’s record of taking a previously well-liked party from 57 MPs to 8. However, I’m here to tell you that those people are wrong. I’m here to tell you that, in fact, this role, at this company, for this particular man, is a brilliant match.

1. They used to be cool and now young people hate them

Nothing was cooler for 2010 teens than a great new profile pic and voting Lib Dem.

2. They have a record of broken promises

Remember when Nick Clegg said he wasn’t going to raise tuition fees? And when Mark Zuckerberg promised to not sell your data in a way that would bring down western civilisation?

3. In their later years, they became known for their video content

Pivot to video was a strategy for both Facebook and Clegg – both sharing political remixes and Carly Rae Jepsen content.

4. Have a knack for propping up right-wing governments

5. Brilliant at taking friendly brands and making them deeply unlikeable

See points one and three.

6. Provide people with unsolicited opinions about Brexit

Whether it’s your uncle you haven’t seen in years or Nick Clegg’s vocal chords, both deliver opinions about Brexit you never asked for.

7. Dropped the definite article from their names

Did you know Nick Clegg was for many years The Nick Clegg? He was known by this name for years, until Vince Cable told him: “lose the ‘the, it’s cleaner”. And thank god he did! Nick Clegg was born! Apparently, something similar happened with Facebook.

8. Yer da still loves them

Please see above. 

9. They both carry sadness in their eyes

Dissenters, leave your wrong opinions at the door. This is a match made in a tech fever-dream heaven.

Sarah Manavis is the New Statesman's tech and digital culture writer.