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  1. Politics
  2. UK Politics
4 October 2017

Please enjoy these Tories’ heroically insincere praise for Theresa May’s speech

“It went well, we're all very pleased,” muttered a Conservative source, trying to hold back tears.

By Media Mole

Theresa May just bludgeoned her way through a conference nightmare. First, a heckler interrupted her, giving her a P45. Then she started to cough, and eventually it got so bad that the hall gave her a sympathetic ovation while Philip Hammond handed her a cough sweet. Finally, bits of the sign behind her started to fall off. Whatever you think of May, this was extremely bad luck – and understandably has crowded out discussion of the (small scale) policy announcements she made on housing and energy.

Now, as a loyal Conservative minister, there are two ways to respond to this. First is what you might call the “silver lining” approach, exemplified by Scottish Tory leader Ruth Davidson:

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Good-humoured, sensible, acknowledging the horrorshow but trying to find the positive. But there is another way. A way that makes you sound so totally disconnected from reality that it’s hard to tell if you’re being crushingly sincere or, in fact, taking the piss:

No, come on, Michael. Really. Lay it on sliiiiightly less thick and you’d get away with it.

Borderline, but ultimately acceptable. 

Sajid Javid, I had expected better of you.

A. New. Challenger. Enters! Thank you, Mims, MP for Eastleigh.

Wow, that is a Low Bar to clear.

Still, good to know someone is asking the right questions.

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Select and enter your email address Your weekly guide to the best writing on ideas, politics, books and culture every Saturday. The best way to sign up for The Saturday Read is via saturdayread.substack.com The New Statesman's quick and essential guide to the news and politics of the day. The best way to sign up for Morning Call is via morningcall.substack.com Our Thursday ideas newsletter, delving into philosophy, criticism, and intellectual history. The best way to sign up for The Salvo is via thesalvo.substack.com Stay up to date with NS events, subscription offers & updates. Weekly analysis of the shift to a new economy from the New Statesman's Spotlight on Policy team. The best way to sign up for The Green Transition is via spotlightonpolicy.substack.com
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  • Health - Medical and Nursing Management
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  • Sport and Recreation
  • Travel, Accommodation, Tourism
  • Wellbeing, Community / Social Services
Visit our privacy Policy for more information about our services, how Progressive Media Investments may use, process and share your personal data, including information on your rights in respect of your personal data and how you can unsubscribe from future marketing communications.
THANK YOU