David and Samantha Cameron troll the nation with kitchen sign

"Calm down dear it's only a recession"


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Samantha Cameron gave Harper's Bazaar a tour of her family's Cotswold home - and your Mole spat out its breakfast at the results. Inside the "gloriously untidy kitchen", a radio played "indie rock from BBC 6 Music" (all safely on-message). But wait, what's this? "A placard that reads 'Calm down dear it's only a recession' leans up against the window behind the sink."

At this, your Mole assumed the piece was a work of satire. But no, the Camerons really do have said placard in their kitchen and, yes, they didn't think to hide it. Of course, Samantha, the daughter of a multi-millionaire aristocrat, and David (who charges £120,000 per hour for speeches on Brexit) will never be troubled by any recession. But did they really have to remind us all? As for "calm down, dear", as Angela Eagle discovered at PMQs in 2011, David is all too fond of the Michael Winner phrase. 

But even for the Camerons, life can be tough in Brexit Britain. "To be honest, the house is slightly falling down," Samantha laments soon after the placard makes an appearance. "The windows are rotting, the roof needs replacing". Time for David to make some more speeches. 

I'm a mole, innit.