Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson boasts about the worst fry-up the world has ever seen

Then he told the Health Secretary to promote his breakfast.

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You’re the Defence Secretary. That means you’ve gotta be a tough guy, right? A trooper. A man’s man. WAR AND GUNS.

This is clearly the unlikely Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson’s thinking, as he plasters a picture of his fry-up all over his Instagram feed.

With the zeal of a hen at a champagne brunch, Williamson snapped his breakfast and published it both in an Instagram post and an Instagram story, even suggesting the Health Secretary Matt Hancock (tagged in) should start recommending this “proper hearty food” over “#salad”. Yes: hashtag salad.

Here it is:

Okay, first of all, this is a rubbish fry-up. The sausages are burnt. The chips are non-traditional (apparently hash browns or buttered toast aren’t better than “#salad”). The brown sauce is splodged too heavily in the middle of the plate. The poached egg looks mournful, perhaps because it’s neither fried nor scrambled, as it should be.

ALSO should he really be telling his Health Secretary colleague to recommend these carcinogens, fried carbs and zero greens? Should he really be slamming #salad?

Whatever look Williamson’s going for, this is not a good one. Perhaps the Defence Secretary should’ve gone for a boiled egg and…

...soldiers.

Your mole is here all week.

I'm a mole, innit.