Troll-master general and seven times failed parliamentary candidate Nigel Farage has just decided that actually, maybe we should have a second referendum on Brexit after all.
“Maybe, just maybe, I’m reaching the point of thinking that we should have a second referendum on EU membership,” he told Channel 5’s The Wright Stuff show. “I think if we had a second referendum on EU membership we would kill it off for a generation.”
EXCLUSIVE – Nigel Farage says “just maybe I’m reaching the point of thinking that we should have a second referendum on EU membership”.@Nigel_Farage | @Matthew_Wright | #wrightstuff pic.twitter.com/T0fROToskr
— The Wright Stuff (@5WrightStuff) January 11, 2018
Whether you’re an ardent Brexiteer, have come to terms with the referendum result or are a fully-fledged Remoaner, this intervention is absolutely baffling, and your mole has a lot of questions for Farage.
- Why are you still here?
- No, seriously, why?
- You are just an MEP. An MEP who will soon be out of a job, because of the thing you campaigned for. You are literally a turkey voting for Christmas, and the Christmas you’ve voted for doesn’t even come with presents for other people.
- Oh but of course, you’re also a former UK parliamentary candidate. Of seven failed election attempts. That boosts your reputation, certainly. You should be on more stuff.
- Seriously, you’re good at this. More producers should book you.
- You could probably make a nice little career out of it.
- You got what you wanted, now go away.
- If you think there should be a second identical referendum, what was the point of the first referendum?
- Instead of spending all that money on another vote, could we not just undo the first one?
- We know you’re saying this because you’d definitely win again. Won’t someone tell me this isn’t true?!
- Have enough people died since the last referendum for that not to be true?
- Or will enough people be too angry at having yet another referendum to vote again, to make it not true?
- PLEASE MAKE IT NOT BE TRUE.
- If Nigel Farage goes on Channel 5’s The Wright Stuff but no one hears him sneer, did it really happen?
- Is this just another one of your lies? Tell me it is. Or it’s not. I don’t know what I want anymore.
- Who am I?
- Who is Nigel Farage?
- Is he just a nightmarish construct made up of our haunted collective consciousness?
- Is he just a failed parliamentary candidate?
- Is he god?
- If we have another one, will more headline writers use the satisfying word “neverendum”?
- Because that would be a positive.
- The only positive.
- Unless Remain wins.
- What will you do if Remain wins? Call another referendum?
- That means more Nigel Farage on our screens.
- What is this life?