Support 100 years of independent journalism.

  1. Politics
18 May 2017

How would the Daily Mail report other policies through history if they were announced by Theresa May?

At last, someone is cracking down on Princes in the tower. 

By Media Mole

Something strange has happened. A disturbance in the force.

The Daily Mail . . .  likes someone?

We know, it’s eerie. 

This morning, the paper has responded to news that older people will be expected to pay more for their care – something it had previously attacked as a “death tax” – by rejoicing that: “EVERYONE can defer care bill – and keep £100k assets”. 

And when the Conservatives announced action on energy bills – previously decried by the paper as likely to “make the lights go out” – it was welcomed as a “crackdown on energy rip-offs”. As Ed Miliband’s former adviser tweeted:

Select and enter your email address Quick and essential guide to domestic and global politics from the New Statesman's politics team. A weekly newsletter helping you fit together the pieces of the global economic slowdown. The New Statesman’s global affairs newsletter, every Monday and Friday. The best of the New Statesman, delivered to your inbox every weekday morning. The New Statesman’s weekly environment email on the politics, business and culture of the climate and nature crises - in your inbox every Thursday. Our weekly culture newsletter – from books and art to pop culture and memes – sent every Friday. A weekly round-up of some of the best articles featured in the most recent issue of the New Statesman, sent each Saturday. A newsletter showcasing the finest writing from the ideas section and the NS archive, covering political ideas, philosophy, criticism and intellectual history - sent every Wednesday. Sign up to receive information regarding NS events, subscription offers & product updates.
  • Administration / Office
  • Arts and Culture
  • Board Member
  • Business / Corporate Services
  • Client / Customer Services
  • Communications
  • Construction, Works, Engineering
  • Education, Curriculum and Teaching
  • Environment, Conservation and NRM
  • Facility / Grounds Management and Maintenance
  • Finance Management
  • Health - Medical and Nursing Management
  • HR, Training and Organisational Development
  • Information and Communications Technology
  • Information Services, Statistics, Records, Archives
  • Infrastructure Management - Transport, Utilities
  • Legal Officers and Practitioners
  • Librarians and Library Management
  • Management
  • Marketing
  • OH&S, Risk Management
  • Operations Management
  • Planning, Policy, Strategy
  • Printing, Design, Publishing, Web
  • Projects, Programs and Advisors
  • Property, Assets and Fleet Management
  • Public Relations and Media
  • Purchasing and Procurement
  • Quality Management
  • Science and Technical Research and Development
  • Security and Law Enforcement
  • Service Delivery
  • Sport and Recreation
  • Travel, Accommodation, Tourism
  • Wellbeing, Community / Social Services
I consent to New Statesman Media Group collecting my details provided via this form in accordance with the Privacy Policy

 

This got the Mole wondering. How would other policies through history have been reported by the Daily Mail had they been announced by Theresa May? Here are a few suggestions:

Logan’s Run

MAY’S BIG IDEA TO CUT CARE BILLS

The Black Death

MAY: I’LL MAKE IT EASIER TO GET ON THE PROPERTY LADDER

French Revolution

MAY’S CAKE FOR ALL

Soviet show trials

MAY SWEEPS AWAY EU-LOVING JUDGES

Mary I’s loss of Calais

FINALLY, WE’RE OUT OF EUROPE

 

The 1696 window tax

MAY: I’LL HELP FAMILIES SAVE ON SUNCREAM

The Puritan abolition of Christmas

MAY’S PRODUCTIVITY BOOST

MAY’S TURKEY REPRIEVE

MAY SAVES FAMILIES THOUSANDS ON NEEDLESS FOOT SPAS

Collective farming

MAY TO TACKLE OBESITY CRISIS

The cultural revolution

SPARROWS WERE OVER-RATED ANYWAY

King Herod’s slaughter of male babies

MAY EASES PRESSURE ON SCHOOL PLACES

MAY’S BOOST FOR GIRLS’ CHANCES IN STEM SUBJECTS

Death of the Princes in the Tower

MAY ENSURES STRONG, STABLE GOVERNMENT

Molotov-Ribbentrop pact

MAY’S NEW SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP

Opium Wars

AT LAST, A SENSIBLE CONVERSATION ON DRUGS

Roman withdrawal of legions in AD410

FINALLY, EUROPE IS OUT OF US