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8 May 2013

Dennis Skinner’s best Queen’s Speech jokes

"Royal Mail for sale. Queen's head privatised," the Labour MP declared today. We collect his most memorable bon mots from previous years.

By George Eaton

Dennis Skinner’s republican quips during the State Opening of Parliament have become part of our unwritten constitution. Today, as Black Rod summoned MPs to hear the monarch in the House of Lords (by tradition, the Queen cannot enter the Commons), he declared: “Royal Mail for sale. Queen’s head privatised.”

So, in tribute to the Beast of Bolsover’s verbal agility, here’s a selection of some his most memorable bon mots from previous years. 

1990

Skinner quipped: “It tolls for thee, Maggie”, a reference to Margaret Thatcher’s imminent resignation as prime minister.

1992

As pressure grew on the Queen to pay tax on her personal income, Skinner ordered Black Rod: “Tell her to pay her taxes.”

1997

Skinner cried: “New Labour, New Black Rod”, an adaptation of the campaign slogan “New Labour, New Britain”.

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2000

Skinner shouted, “Tell her to read the Guardian” after the newspaper launched a new campaign calling for Britain to become a republic.

2003

Following a series of break-ins at Buckingham Palace, Skinner asked: “Did she lock the door behind her?”

2006

In reference to the new film The Queen, Skinner asked Black Rod: “Have you got Helen Mirren on standby?”

2007

After two protected hen harriers were shot dead on the royal family’s Sandringham estate, Skinner remarked: “Who shot the harriers?” Prince Harry was questioned by the police but no charges were brought.

2008

Skinner quipped: “Any Tory moles at the palace?”, a reference to the recent arrest of the Tory MP Damian Green in connection with Home Office leaks.

2009

As Black Rod arrived in the Commons, Skinner joked: “Royal expenses are on the way.”

2012

“Jubilee year, double dip recession, what a start,” shouted Skinner, prompting cries of “shame!” from Tory MPs.