It had to happen. Somebody somewhere, soon, was going to realise that people — the blood, the guts — were a complete waste of time. Have you noticed how we’re being phased out? First, the supermarket self-checkouts. Then the trains that don’t need drivers. (This has always absolutely terrified me — how can they possibly work?) Men are ancient history — as if we need men any more to do anything!? (At this point I could link to about a hundred identikit features all saying something along the lines of: “Men. Pah! Who needs them? Now we can have babies on our own!” Although if said feature is in the Guardian it will be in a sort of “Yeah, rock on!” tone and if it’s in the Mail it will be more “Oh, these ghastly modern women”.)
Anyway, the point is that this has happened, brought to us by Xinhua in China. She’s very lovely-looking, the robot saleswoman, but she doesn’t have a soul. A tiny defect in an otherwise perfect answer to how to get round the need for actual human beings.
I’m going to start a campaign to Maintain the Relevance of the Human. Or Keep the People. Any tips gratefully received.
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