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13 June 2008updated 27 Sep 2015 5:44am

Sister Dorries and the labour camp

Finally is it possible to work out the real agenda of David Cameron's Conservatives?

By Ben Davies

I commend to you the blog of Tory MP and friend of the Fundies (that’s Christian Fundamentalists in case you didn’t know) Nadine Dorries.

Have a good read and then contrast and compare the way her party leader, Lexus Dave Cameron, tries to pass himself off. You now know the form: no more laughing at the poor. No more scapegoating the single mothers. The caring wrinkling of the brow to indicate principled stands over the 42 days…

‘Ok,’ you cry, ‘but he’s a sort of walking policy vacuum. No-one knows what he might do when in power.’ Well I wonder if we can infer the real agenda of the Mod Cons from Sister Dorries’s blog.

But more than that it’s worth reading for its pure unbridled silliness.

For example on Giles ‘whoops a daisy’ Chichester MEP – who quit his role as leader of the Tories in Brussels after admitting breaking expenses rules: i.e. paying thousands of pounds in staff allowances to a firm of which he is a paid director.

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Here goes our Nadine: “The frenzied attack against Conservative MPs and MEPs, orchestrated by and emanating from the left wing BBC and press has equalled that of an animal in its death throes. The more terminal the position looks for Labour, the more desperate the BBC and the left wing press become.”

Hmmm. Tell that to Conservative Central Office hanger on turned BBC political editor Nick Robinson.

But it gets even better.

Here she is on law and order – perhaps not so far in her thinking from David ‘death penalty’ Davis…

“I believe strongly that we should have County Sheriffs to replace Chief Constables, that they should be voted for and elected by the people, and therefore fully accountable to the people.

Which Sheriff of Bedfordshire would go back to the people for re-election having presided over rising crime?

One sure way to make sure your police force works is to make the top job dependent upon results: a performance related position.

A friend sent me this:

“Sheriff Joe Arpaio created the ‘tent city jail’ to save Arizona from spending tens of millions of dollars on another expensive prison complex.

He has jail meals down to 20 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them.

He banned smoking and pornographic magazines in the jails, and took away their weightlifting equipment and cut off all but ‘G’ movies. He says: ‘They’re in jail to pay a debt to society not to build muscles so they can assault innocent people when the leave.’

He started chain gangs to use the inmates to do free work on county and city projects and save taxpayers’ money.

Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn’t get sued for discrimination.””

She goes on (and on as a matter of fact) quoting about the pink uniforms, the searing heat, the forced viewing of Newt Gingrich’s history of America – cruel and unusual punishment in my book and, no doubt, in his.

Of course the soft-heared pro-lifer doesn’t agree with all of it – oh no. But then she doesn’t say which aspects of this American gulag she would leave out.

Must be lovely to be punctilious in your observance of the law which made me wonder if Sister Dorries has copyright permission to reproduce all those photos of inmates. Perhaps she’ll let us know.

Moving on.

I was watching some TV the other day and had the misfortune of happening across my own personal version of hell. You’ll be familiar with the fabulous Sartre play No Exit or Huis Clos. People lumped in a room together for eternity – hell is other people and all that.

Well this is mine. Stuck in front of an hour-long edition of Eastenders followed by the Apprentice final.

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