“So let me get this right” – Let me deliberately get this wrong, reducing all arguments to absurd oversimplification.
“Just saying” – I’m not “just saying”; but if you take offence at this barbed comment I will act all surprised and horrified. I am, after all, just saying!
“No offence” – I mean quite a considerable amount of offence.
“I’m not racist . . .” – I am racist.
“Don’t take this the wrong way” – as anything other than an insult.
“But will you also condemn XX atrocity by YY?” – Look, the brown bastards are WORSE than whitey.
“You wouldn’t be as keen to criticise Muslims, would you?” – Look, the brown bastards are WORSE than whitey.
“Funny you didn’t mention incident ZZ, which also happened recently . . .” – Look, the brown bastards are WORSE than whitey.
“A deafening silence from you on that one” – Because you fail to mention something irrelevant and obscure, this means you are a hypocrite.
“I thought you were meant to be a liberal” – I hate liberals, but if liberals don’t react in a way in which I assume liberals, whom I hate, should react, I can say they’re hypocrites.
“So much for freedom of speech!” – Since you refused to print my pointless inflammatory racist comment, you are the bad guy.
“Of course, you can’t say it nowadays” – Because some people think racism is a bad thing, or something, it’s become disgracefully socially unacceptable to just go around being a racist.
“At last, someone brave enough to tell the truth” – At last, a bigot saying something bigoted in public.
“If you took off your PC rose-tinted glasses for a minute” – and popped my jaundice-tinted, bigoted specs on, you’d see things as I do.
“Nice post, but what about XXX?” – What about something entirely unrelated, which I can try and engage you with in abysmal circular discussion for about 55 years?
“This post is biased” – And so am I, but my bias is the nice, allowed kind, while yours is the evil, bad sort.
“This blog post isn’t objective” – Unlike my trolling comment underneath, obviously; and yes, I have wilfully misunderstood the idea of a lot of blog posts.
Feel free to add your own examples below.