The Church of England was cracked open by the publication in November of the Makin Report into the sadistic abuse of boys and young men by the conservative evangelical John Smyth. Its release was followed five days later by the resignation of the Archbishop of Canterbury.
In as much as truth was revealed and accountability recognised, this was a good episode. And yet, for me as a priest of the Church of England, it has also been a time of extraordinary anguish. This is because I see the appalling physical abuse meted out by Smyth, and the inclination of leaders to turn a blind eye, as indicative of deep and troubling faults in the culture of the Church that has claimed my allegiance, shaped the use of my energies and talents, and structured my spiritual and emotional life over my almost 40 years as a priest. I wonder what this allegiance and ministry have done to my soul.
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