How to live to 120, according to Kim Jong-Il

Regular blood transfusions and five-year-olds doing "adorable" things aimed to help the North Korean dictator become the world's oldest man.

By living to 82, North Korea’s late dictator Kim Jong-Il outlived the average citizen by over 12 years, but his former doctor has revealed that the country’s mad autocrat had been hoping to make it to 120 and had tasked a research team to ensure that he became the world’s longest living man.

So, what were their recommendations for long life? According to Chosun, a South Korean newspaper, the research team decided that ensuring that Kim Jong-Il laughed regularly was essential. "We invited a stage actor to perform a comedy and got five- and six-year-olds to do adorable things,"  his former physician, Kim So-yeon, who defected to the South in the 1992 told Chosun.

Kim Jong-Il reportedly loved foreign films too, amassing a collection of 20,000 movies and professing a love for “Daffy Duck” – so who knows, perhaps a daily dose of Disney was also just what the doctors ordered.

He also received regular drug transfusions from younger men, his food intake was regularly recorded and his longevity research team researched the medicinal properties of 1,750 herbs.

Dr Kim hasn’t been put off by her patient’s failure to live to 120, and blames it to Kim Jong-Il’s “greed” rather than her method. His $700,000 a year cognac bill can't have helped boost his life expectancy. Nor can the fact that, according to his official biography on the North Korean state website, he didn't defecate. Although if you believe that, you believe that he was born under a double rainbow at the precise moment a new star was born.

Dr Kim’s published a book on her longevity research, so you, too, can try out the Kim Jong-Il diet. I’d rather not.

North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il with South Korean president Roh Moo-Hyun in 2004. Kim Jong-Il's diet was carefully monitored by his longevity team. Photo:Getty.

Sophie McBain is a freelance writer based in Cairo. She was previously an assistant editor at the New Statesman. She is on Twitter as @SEMcBain.

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This is a refugee crisis, and it has always been a refugee crisis

If your country is in flames and your life is at risk, boarding a rickety, dangerous boat is a rational decision. We need to provide safer choices and better routes.

Even those of us all too familiar with the human cost of the present refugee crisis were stopped in our tracks by the profoundly disturbing images of the dead toddler washed up on a Turkish beach. Whatever our personal view about the ethics of displaying the photographs, one thing is clear: the refugee crisis on our doorstep can no longer be denied or ignored.

For far too long the political conversation in the UK has avoided facing up to the obvious conclusion that the UK must provide protection to more refugees in this country. Ministers have responded to calls to do more by talking about the aid we are providing to help refugees in the region, by blaming other European Governments who are hosting more refugees than we are, and also accusing refugees themselves by claiming the desperate people forced into boarding unsafe boats in the Mediterranean were chancers and adventurers, out for an easier life.

These latest images have blown all that away and revealed the shaming truth. This is a refugee crisis and has always been a refugee crisis. When the Refugee Council wrote to the prime minister in 2013 to call for the UK to lead on resettling Syrian refugees displaced by a war that was already two years old, it was a refugee crisis in the making.

Many people struggle to comprehend why refugees would pay smugglers large sums of money to be piled into a rickety boat in the hope of reaching the shores in Europe. The simple answer is that for these individuals, there is no other choice. If your country is in flames and your life is at risk, boarding that boat is a rational decision. There has been much vitriol aimed at smugglers who are trading in human misery, but European governments could put them out of business if they created alternative, legal routes for refugees to reach our shores.

There are clear steps that European governments, including our own, can take to help prevent people having to risk their lives. We need to offer more resettlement places so that people can be brought directly to countries of safety. We also need to make it easier for refugees to reunite with their relatives already living in safety in the UK. Under current rules, refugees are only allowed to bring their husband or wife and dependant children under the age of 18. Those that do qualify for family reunion often face long delays living apart, with usually the women and children surviving in desperate conditions while they wait for a decision on their application. Sometimes they are refused because they cannot provide the right documentation. If you had bombs raining down on your house, would you think to pick up your marriage certificate?

The time to act is well overdue, but the tide of public opinion seems to be turning – especially since the release of the photographs. We urgently need David Cameron to show political leadership and help us live up to the proud tradition of protecting refugees that he often refers to. That tradition is meaningless if people cannot reach us, if they are dying in the attempt. It is a shame that it had to take such a tragic image to shake people into calling for action, but for many it means that the crisis is no longer out of sight and out of mind.

Maurice Wren is the chief executive of the Refugee Council