Wishful thinking for 2009

The good news for the new year is as follows

By John Pilger Published 18 December 2008

January: Tony Blair is arrested at Heathrow Airport as he returns from yet another foreign speaking engagement (receipts since leaving office: £12m). He is flown to The Hague to stand trial for war crimes for his part in the illegal, unprovoked attack on a defenceless country, Iraq, justified by proven lies, and for the subsequent physical, social and cultural destruction of that country, causing the death of up to a million people. According to the Nuremberg Tribunal, this is the "paramount war crime". The prosecution tells Blair's defence team it will not accept a plea of "sincerely believing". Cherie Blair, a close collaborator who has compared her husband with Winston Churchill, is cautioned.

February: Following the inauguration of Barack Obama as president of the United States, his predecessor, George W Bush, is arrested leaving the Church of the Holy Crusader in his home town of Crawford, Texas. He is flown to The Hague in War Criminal One. (See above for prosecution details.) Laura Bush, after a plea bargain, agrees to give evidence against the former president, "for God's sake".

March: Former vice-president Dick Cheney shoots himself in the foot hunting squirrels following a prayer breakfast in Hope, Florida.

April: Aung San Suu Kyi is released from house arrest and assumes her rightful place as the democratic head of the government of Burma.

May: All American and British troops leave Iraq, including the "300-400" British troops who are to stay behind to "train Iraqis" and do the kind of special forces dirty work almost never reported by embedded journalists.

June: All Nato troops leave Afghanistan.

July: The British government calls a halt to selling arms and military equipment to ten out of 14 conflict-hit countries in Africa. The chairman of the arms company BAE Systems is arrested by the Serious Fraud Office.

August: The British Department for International Development ends its support for privatisation as a condition of aid to the poorest countries.

September: Sir Bob Geldof and Bono visit Tony Blair in prison, suggesting a worldwide Crime Aid gig to raise money for their hero's defence.

October: The Booker prizewinner Anne Enright apologises to Gerry and Kate McCann, parents of the missing child Madeleine McCann, for speculating in the London Review of Books about the possible involvement of the McCanns in the disappearance of their daughter.

November: Gordon Brown is kidnapped, hooded and forced to listen repeatedly to his 2007 speech to bankers at a Mansion House banquet: "What you as the City of London have achieved for financial services, we as a government now aspire to achieve for the whole economy."

December: Tony Blair is sentenced to life imprisonment and beatified by the Pope.

If you think none of this will happen, you are probably right. But beware 2010 . . .

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View the discussion thread.

271 comments

Wed, 2008-12-31 08:23 — stephen4

Cont

Britain should have look at the way some of the
Japanese schools are, and what is happening in New
York at the moment. Children should have time at
school doing activities such as singing together
(doesn't have to be hymns), dancing (especially
partner style, boys and girls) and ice and roller
skating. These will make them feel really good about
themselves and each other. Visits by Buddhists or to
temples can help children. There is no need for
conversion as you don't need to believe in Buddha or
anything. You're just got to do certain things and good
things will come from that.

Adults need to be encouraged to do similar things. To
hang around the office after five o clock is counter
productive not only to themselves and their work, but
also to their family. Lunch times should be at least
one hour with time to swim or something, to refresh. if
possible showers and food should be provided by
companies.

Pubs need to provide things like cheap peppermint,
liquorice tea, coffee and water to provide an
alternative to booze and sugar water.

My tea is ready, i'll continue if you want anti-left

Mon, 2008-12-22 14:23 — Petite Anglaise

muppet17 said,

"But one really must nominate Cheney to be tried at the Hague alongside Bush the Younger. Shooting himself in the foot is too good for the manipulative turd who was the real Hand of Death behind the Bush debacle ... "

And thus Cybertiger's 'Timeline for 2009' is as follows,

*March* Barack 'Hussein' Obama is shot by Dick Cheney in a tragically murderous shooting accident.

*April* Chief democrat within the SCOTUS, Justice Antonin Scalia, abolishes the death penalty for all accidental American assassins (AAA clan) - and by default for ALL murdering American scoundrels abroad.

*May* The American populace (Bah, ba, black sheep) take to the streets in protest at the abolition of state sponsored, heavily taxpayer subsidised killing.

*June* In a lavish coronation, Biggus Dickus Cheney is crowned Emperor of the evilEmpire and takes the name of 'Good 'God' Shepherd'.

*September* In a fit of demented syphylitic fury, the God Shepherd raises tax on oil to make gasoline prices commensurate with the UK. He intended this as a declaration of that special relationship between two nations of Empire. There is renewed rioting on the streets.

*January 2010* The bananaRepublic is declared a neo-Socialist state ... after the death penalty is restored and all oil taxes are abolished. The sheep are happy ... peace reigns over the flock.

Wed, 2008-12-31 10:03 — writeon

My resolution for the New Year is to try to totally ignore Antileft. It's the mix of venom, arrogance and US teenage-speak I can't stand. This absurdity that he's somehow a person of outstanding intelligence 'debating' with people who are on some lower level of understanding compared to him, now that's so comical.

And this constant and primative desire to pin superficial labels on everyone; commie, lefty, idiot, moron, fool and on and on... If only the world were so simple and these labels signified anything anymore. Using the political terminology of the twentieth century, movements and forms of politics that vanished decades ago, seems odd to me.

We are in a period of flux, or rapid, revolutionary change in the way we live. We need new 'labels' to describe the times we live in, which makes things very difficult as understanding what's happening around us is hard to define. For example, what kind of society is the UK? Is it really a democracy anymore? Surely democracy, which in itself is a highly complex and contradictory concept, open to constant debate; surely democracy needs an active and powerful citizenry? After all in a democracy power is supposed to come from and ultimately reside with and in the people, it's what the word 'democracy' means after all!
But do the people have real power? Perhaps. Once every four or five years at election time, but what about the rest of the time? So a form of democracy exists in the UK, but it's highly ritualised, controlled and managed.

What do I believe? I don't know is the simplistic answer. I don't think I believe anything, not really. The more I know the less I believe, especially about politics.

I don't know where I am on the political spectrum and I don't care. I'm very suspicious of political ideology like organised religion. I don't believe that what I believe is important to anyone. Why would it be? Just another primative box to put people in, another worthless label.

Wed, 2008-12-31 10:18 — stephen4

Oh don't feel so bad on the last day of the year.

Things can only get better!

I'm not against anti-left or for him. he's just part of us...
oh no don't pop back.. what have I wrote!

I'll take me dog for a walk and think about your
questions.

Mon, 2008-12-22 15:10 — genecrabtree920

I know youre trying to be funny, cybertiger, but cant you see how idiotic your posts are?

"In a fit of demented syphylitic fury, the God Shepherd ..."
What on earth does syphilis have to do with anything?! The "God Shepherd"?! What is that? Is it supposed to be funny??

"abolishes the death penalty for all accidental American assassins (AAA clan) - and by default for ALL murdering American scoundrels abroad."
AAA?! WTF?! Accidental assassin?! What is that?!

Biggus Dickus Cheney and Barack 'Hussein' Obama? Making fun of peoples names again? Is this supposed to be mature??

"Bah, ba, black sheep"
You think that british people are somehow... Less sheep-like than american people? Come on cybetiger- the cultures are virtually identical.

Wed, 2008-12-31 10:28 — writeon

Most people do not conform to these primative labels anymore. We are in era of rapid change. Old 'classes' are disappearing and new ones are emerging. Political loyalties are often based on one's 'class' yet their is a time-lag involved as well.

In Germany, for example, there is concern that the traditional 'middle-class' is changing and shrinking. In the East one has a growing middle-class, yet they are politically orientated towards the Left to a far higher degree than in the West of Germany. The balance in society is beginning to move 'leftwards' and what consequences will this have for social stability, as the middle class has always been seen as a bulwark against the 'revolutionary potential' of the traditional working-class.

Just one of the things that makes modern Western society so complex is the move away from traditional democracy towards a new form of society. Very simply put this means a rapid polarization in society. Again, in Germany one can see that the rich are becoming richer and there are more of them. The number of poor is growing at the bottom, and the people in the middle are also under intense pressure economically, though far more are moving downwards than are joining the rich.

It's this pauperisation of the middle-class that's seen as a real threat to the stability of society, especially in times of economic hardship. The middle class not only have educations and ideas they also have the desire to rule and could in fact take over from the traditional leaders of society given the chance. So all over the Western world there is concern about the 'radicalisation' of increasing numbers of the middle-class who no longer identify their interests with those of the ruling elite.

I'm not interested in what people believe in a narrow sense. I'm interested in what they know, how they see and understand the world around them which is so complex and where there is so much confusion and change. How does one make sense of it all?

Wed, 2008-12-31 11:34 — genecrabtree920

"Britain should have look at the way some of the
Japanese schools are, and what is happening in New
York at the moment."
I dont know about New York but as someone who's worked in Japanese schools I can assure you they shouldnt look there. I couldnt believe it- even more idiotic education than in Britain. Rote learning all the way, 14 hours a day, 6 days a week.

"My tea is ready, i'll continue if you want anti-left"
Sure- go ahead. But dont expect me to pay higher taxes for your tea, swimming, etc during your lunch break.

"My resolution for the New Year is to try to totally ignore Antileft."
You just broke your new year's resolution.

"Using the political terminology of the twentieth century, movements and forms of politics that vanished decades ago, seems odd to me."
None of it has vanished, writeon- and theyre not 20th century terms- "communism" and "capitalism" and "democracy" were first written way before that. And they work perfectly well in the present day- which is why journalists- including pilger here- use them just as much as they always did. Youre the only one with a hang up about it.

"Is it really a democracy anymore?"
Well, in that the system hasnt changed fundamentally for a very, very long time, Id say that if it was once then OF COURSE IT IS. What a stupid, pretentious question.

"What do I believe? I don't know is the simplistic answer. I don't think I believe anything, not really."
Well then who cares what you think?! Go back to the fields and quit rambling- people who dont know what they believe shouldnt debate- they should clean floors etc.

"Old 'classes' are disappearing and new ones are emerging."
They always have!!! So what?! Doesnt mean people cant have opinions!

Mon, 2008-12-22 15:41 — VC

antileft, how "mature" are you. Seriously, you should seek help. I think most people come here, because they have something to say, something to contribute. They don`t come here to be "abused" by a halfwit like you.

Wed, 2008-12-31 11:58 — stephen4

First off you don't have to make sense of it all. Also
you don't have to believe in anything.

The other thing is that not all Western societies are the
same. Here in Australia it is much more egalitarian.
There are richer and poorer people but there's a great
deal more interaction, and less judgement about
people's status. You go to barbqs and there could be
a doctor talking to a cleaner to a lorry driver to a
teacher etc etc. It doesn't matter who you are,
especially inland where I live. People aren't really
judged by their occupation or their wealth. The whole
atmosphere is different. it's very friendly, jokey and
the pace of life is so much slower. There are no traffic
jams. And the opportunity is greater to do your own
thing. But it also depends on your own 'state' of mind.

Of course there is crime but its usually at nights by the
bars. Nowhere is perfect but I know a lot of English
people here who prefer it.

I think it has a lot to do with the numbers of people and
the ability of people to move from place to another.
Many people have cars because they are so
affordable.. me dad said he used to cycle from
Liverpool (Bootle) to the Lake District and back in a
day and there were thousands of people doing it. Few
people could afford cars. That was in the fifties. What
this means is that regional communities get broken up
as people commute huge distances. And people
know that it is much easier for other people to commit
crimes in one area and be a hundred miles away in
the next hour on the motorway. This creates a kind of
unease. Then you have huge numbers of people from
overseas breaking up regional communities even
more. Last time I was in the UK in 2006 it felt like one
big city.
There was still bits of what it was like in the 60s and
70s but there was definitely more of a feeling of
'dissatisfaction', for want of a better word. With the
older people especially.
2b cont