A night at the Baftas

Ben Affleck steals a march in the race to the Oscars.

On Sunday evening the British Academy Film and Television Awards (better known as the Baftas) were held at the Royal Opera House in Covent Garden. The red carpet was a soggy scene, and Hollywood’s hottest intoned for many hours on meteorology. It was a happy television audience when Stephen Fry eventually brought his purple prose to the pulpit.

Ben Affleck won for his direction of Argo, which in turn was named best film, gaining it more yardage in its sprint toward Oscar success. Lincoln has been reclining in an armchair on the edge of the finish line for months, and may very way topple over it, with a yawn, by Oscar night. This is very difficult to call, but Argo’s thighs are certainly pumping after a resplendent Sunday in London. Quentin Tarantino’s original screenplay for Django Unchained was honoured. This makes coy amends for Tarantino’s inexplicable exclusion from the director category.
 
The acting categories went according to expectations – for the most part. As inevitable as Stephen Fry getting a gag about lubricant into his script, Anne Hathaway was awarded best supporting actress for her role as Fantine in Les Miserables, and the sun shone on the nothing new as Daniel Day-Lewis was named best actor. One is in mild emotional limbo as his performance in Lincoln wins another award (and continues its course toward an Oscar); not because it is undeserving, but because Joaquin Phoenix must remain un-lauded, left clawing at his beard at the back of the hall, having delivered such a performance in The Master, so twitching and boggled and brilliant. Christoph Waltz was awarded best supporting actor for Django Unchained, and in his studied and choppy English delivered a charming speech in which he praised Quentin Tarantino – "You silver-penned devil!" – against impending tears. This builds on his victory at the Golden Globes, though it would remain a surprise if he defeats Tommy Lee Jones, Alan Arkin and Philip Seymour Hoffman at the Oscars considering he took the statue for a comparable performance in Inglorious Basterds.
 
The British Academy’s compliance ceased at the best actress category, however, as they chose Emmanuelle Riva over Jennifer Lawrence and Jessica Chastain. Although one’s money is still safest behind Lawrence for the Oscar, the pluck it took to choose a 85 year old, whose heyday was the French New Wave, might re-conjure the dissident poltergeist which spooked the American Academy into voting for The Artist, and open minds to the possibility of making Riva their unlikely recipient. 
 
A number of the technical categories this year can be treated with more interest than the shoulder-shrugging they usually receive. Les Miserables was given the award for best sound in recognition of its recording technique, wherein actors perform their pieces live, dictating the tempo of their numbers rather than miming to a pre-recording (reservedly labeled ‘revolutionary’ in the making of musicals). In addition, Life of Pi was given the special visual effects award for a project that included the lavish creation of Richard Parker, the digital tiger, work which has been credited with making a significant contribution to the union of technology and art. 
 
Below is a complete list of the winners.
 
BEST FILM: Argo- Grant Heslov, Ben Affleck, George Clooney 
 
OUTSTANDING BRITISH FILM: Skyfall - Sam Mendes, Michael G.Wilson, Barbara Broccoli, Neal Purvis, Robert Wade, John Logan 
 
OUTSTANDING DEBUT BY A BRITISH WRITER, DIRECTOR OR PRODUCER: Bart Layton (Director), Dimitri Doganis (Producer) – The Imposter
 
FILM NOT IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE: Amour- Michael Haneke, Margaret Ménégoz 
 
DOCUMENTARY: Searching for Sugar Man- Malik Bendjelloul, Simon Chinn 
 
ANIMATED FILM: Brave - Mark Andrews, Brenda Chapman 
 
DIRECTOR: Argo – Ben Affleck
 
ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: Django Unchained - Quentin Tarantino 
 
ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: - David O. Russell 
 
LEADING ACTOR: Daniel Day-Lewis - Lincoln
 
LEADING ACTRESS: Emmanuelle Riva - Amour 
 
SUPPORTING ACTOR: Christoph Waltz - Django Unchained 
 
SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Anne Hathaway – Les Miserables
 
ORIGINAL MUSIC: Skyfall - Thomas Newman 
 
CINEMATOGRAPHY: Life of Pi – Claudio Miranda 
 
EDITING: Argo - William Goldenberg 
 
PRODUCTION DESIGN: Les Miserables - Eve Stewart, Anna Lynch-Robinson 
 
COSTUME DESIGN: Anna Karenina - Jacqueline Durran 
 
MAKE UP & HAIR: Les Miserables - Lisa Westcott 
 
SOUND: Les Miserables - Simon Hayes, Andy Nelson, Mark Paterson, Jonathan Allen, Lee Walpole, John Warhurst 
 
SPECIAL VISUAL EFFECTS: Life of Pi - Bill Westenhofer, Guillaume Rocheron, Erik-Jan De Boer 
 
SHORT ANIMATION: The Making of Longbird - Will Anderson, Ainslie Henderson 
 
SHORT FILM: Swimmer - Lynne Ramsay, Peter Carlton, Diarmid Scrimshaw 
 
THE EE RISING STAR AWARD (voted for by the public): Juno Temple 
 
OUTSTANDING BRITISH CONTRIBUTION TO CINEMA: Tessa Ross 
 
THE BAFTA FELLOWSHIP: Alan Parker 
Ben Affleck at the Baftas (Photograph: Getty Images)
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How did Don’t Tell the Bride lose its spark?

Falling out of the love with reality TV’s wedding planning hit.

Steph, 23, from Nottinghamshire, is standing in a drizzly field wearing a wedding dress. Her betrothed, Billy, is running around in a tweed flat cap trying to make some pigs walk in “a continuous parade”. A man from Guinness World Records is watching with a clipboard, shaking his head. Bridesmaids gaze sorrowfully into the middle distance, each in a damp pig onesie.

Thus ends the second wedding in E4’s new series of Don’t Tell the Bride – and the programme’s integrity with it.

When the classic programme, which follows grooms attempting to plan their wedding (punchline: human males doing some organising), began a decade ago on BBC Three, it had the raw spark of unpredictability. For eight years, the show did nothing fancy with the format, and stuck with pretty ordinary couples who had few eccentric aspirations for their wedding day.

This usually resulted in run-of-the-mill, mildly disappointing weddings where the worst thing that happened would be a reception at the nearest motorway pub, or an ill-fitting New Look low heel.

It sounds dull, but anyone who has religiously watched it knows that the more low-key weddings expose what is truly intriguing about this programme: the unconditional commitment – or doomed nature – of a relationship. As one of the show’s superfans told the Radio Times a couple of years ago:

“It’s perfect, and not in an ironic or post-ironic or snarky way. The format has the solemn weight of a ceremony . . . Don’t Tell the Bride is not about ruined weddings, it’s about hope. Every wedding is a demonstration of how our ambitions curve away from our abilities. It’s a show about striving to deserve love and how that’s rarely enough.”

It also meant that when there were bombshells, they were stand-out episodes. High drama like Series 4’s notorious Las Vegas wedding almost resulting in a no-show bride. Or heart-warming surprises like the geezer Luke in Series 3 playing Fifa and guzzling a tinny on his wedding morning, who incongruously pulls off a stonking wedding day (complete with special permission from the Catholic Church).

For its eight years on BBC Three, a few wildcard weddings were thrown into the mix of each series. Then the show had a brief affair with BBC One, a flirt with Sky, and is now on its tenth year, 13th series and in a brand new relationship – with the more outrageous E4.

During its journey from BBC Three, the show has been losing its way. Tedious relationship preamble has been used to beef up each episode. Some of the grooms are cruel rather than clueless, or seem more pathetic and vulnerable than naïve. And wackier weddings have become the norm.

The programme has now fully split from its understated roots. Since it kicked off at the end of July, every wedding has been a publicity stunt. The pig farm nuptials are sandwiched between a Costa del Sol-based parasail monstrosity and an Eighties Neighbours-themed ceremony, for example. All facilitated by producers clearly handing the groom and best men karaoke booth-style props (sombreros! Inflatable guitars! Wigs!) to soup up the living room planning process.

Such hamminess doesn’t give us the same fly-on-the-wall flavour of a relationship as the older episodes. But maybe this level of artifice is appropriate. As one groom revealed to enraged fans in The Sun this week, the ceremonies filmed are not actually legally binding. “It makes a bit of a mockery of the process that the bride and groom go through this huge ordeal for a ceremony which isn’t even legal,” he said. Perhaps we should’ve predicted it would all eventually end in divorce – from reality.

Don’t Tell the Bride is on E4 at 9pm

Anoosh Chakelian is senior writer at the New Statesman.