Apple's problem? No new products

First profit fall in a decade.

Apple's results are out, and although the company posted its first profit fall in a decade it still beat analyst expectations - boosting its share buyback programme by $50bn and making $9.5bn over the quarter.

Here's Business Insider's breakdown of results vs expectations:

  • Revenue: $43.6 billion billion versus $42.3 billion analysts' estimate
  • EPS: $10.09 versus $9.98 analysts' estimate
  • Gross margin: 37.5% versus 38.5% analysts' estimate
  • iPhone: 37.4 million versus 36.5 million analysts' estimate
  • iPad: 19.5 million versus 18.3 million analysts' estimate
  • Mac: Just under 4 million million versus 4.1 million analysts' estimate
  • iPod: 5.6 million versus 6.25 million analysts' estimate
  • June quarter revenue: $33.5-$35.5 billion versus $38.6 billion analysts' estimate
  • June quarter gross margin: 36%-37% versus 38.6% analysts' estimate
  • Cash balance of $145 billion

But why the profit fall? Several theories are being tossed around. These are:

1. Apple Maps. The fiasco (bridges collapsed, a park in Ireland became an airport, normally land-bound cities ended up in the sea). The awfulness of the maps was fairly damaging to the company, particuarly as it had been given such a high-profile release.

2. John Browett's approach to Apple Stores. Apple's new recruit, brought in under Tim Cook, decided to save money on staff in these important showrooms. It was not a success and he was quickly fired.

3. iCloud problems. The storage feature is more expensive than Google's version, and has created way more problems for users - audiobooks, for example, cannot be replaced if accidently deleted.

4. A lack of "buzz". When you get down to it, Apple's problems are mostly to do with lack of new products. It has been six months since Apple released anything new, and there is as yet no sign of the rumoured Apple "iWatch", the super-TV set, or even the iPhone with the larger screen, that would be able to compete with Samsung's 5in Note.

There's an edited transcript of what Tim Cook had to say about the results here.

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“Trembling, shaking / Oh, my heart is aching”: the EU out campaign song will give you chills

But not in a good way.

You know the story. Some old guys with vague dreams of empire want Britain to leave the European Union. They’ve been kicking up such a big fuss over the past few years that the government is letting the public decide.

And what is it that sways a largely politically indifferent electorate? Strikes hope in their hearts for a mildly less bureaucratic yet dangerously human rights-free future? An anthem, of course!

Originally by Carly You’re so Vain Simon, this is the song the Leave.EU campaign (Nigel Farage’s chosen group) has chosen. It is performed by the singer Antonia Suñer, for whom freedom from the technofederalists couldn’t come any suñer.

Here are the lyrics, of which your mole has done a close reading. But essentially it’s just nature imagery with fascist undertones and some heartburn.

"Let the river run

"Let all the dreamers

"Wake the nation.

"Come, the new Jerusalem."

Don’t use a river metaphor in anything political, unless you actively want to evoke Enoch Powell. Also, Jerusalem? That’s a bit... strong, isn’t it? Heavy connotations of being a little bit too Englandy.

"Silver cities rise,

"The morning lights,

"The streets that meet them,

"And sirens call them on

"With a song."

Sirens and streets. Doesn’t sound like a wholly un-authoritarian view of the UK’s EU-free future to me.

"It’s asking for the taking,

"Trembling, shaking,

"Oh, my heart is aching."

A reference to the elderly nature of many of the UK’s eurosceptics, perhaps?

"We’re coming to the edge,

"Running on the water,

"Coming through the fog,

"Your sons and daughters."

I feel like this is something to do with the hosepipe ban.

"We the great and small,

"Stand on a star,

"And blaze a trail of desire,

"Through the dark’ning dawn."

Everyone will have to speak this kind of English in the new Jerusalem, m'lady, oft with shorten’d words which will leave you feeling cringéd.

"It’s asking for the taking.

"Come run with me now,

"The sky is the colour of blue,

"You’ve never even seen,

"In the eyes of your lover."

I think this means: no one has ever loved anyone with the same colour eyes as the EU flag.

I'm a mole, innit.