"See ya later, ex dictator": a year in Twitmericks

"There was an old man from the Nile / Of odious crocodile smile"

Among all the year end reviews, here's something a little bit different. Mick Hodgkin has been tweeting the news each day in the form of a limerick - and naturally within the 140 word character limit.

Mick is a programme editor for Al Jazeera, a former colleague, an Arsenal fan (oh, yes) and clearly a talented and dedicated limerick writer. Here's a selection -- and there are more over here. Happy New Year!

 

SEE YA LATER, EX-DICTATOR
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
There was an old man from the Nile
Of odious crocodile smile
But as every dictator
Should sooner or later
Mubarak is now standing trial.

 

MOBILE HACKERS CAUGHT BY THE KNACKERS
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
News International's Rebekah
Ended up as a newspaper wrecker
A media vandal
At fault in the scandal
But so were those failing to check 'er.

 

LIAM FOX TAKES SOME KNOCKS
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Pseudo Fox aide Adam Werritty
Acted the part with dexterity
But it takes cash to fly
Every month to Dubai
So who was behind his prosperity?

 

SEPP BLATTER, MAD AS A HATTER?
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
That funny old man Mr Blatter
Says racist abuse doesn't matter
Shake hands, it's a game
Nobody's to blame
But fans want his head on a platter.

 

 

Jon Bernstein, former deputy editor of New Statesman, is a digital strategist and editor. He tweets @Jon_Bernstein. 

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Can Philip Hammond save the Conservatives from public anger at their DUP deal?

The Chancellor has the wriggle room to get close to the DUP's spending increase – but emotion matters more than facts in politics.

The magic money tree exists, and it is growing in Northern Ireland. That’s the attack line that Labour will throw at Theresa May in the wake of her £1bn deal with the DUP to keep her party in office.

It’s worth noting that while £1bn is a big deal in terms of Northern Ireland’s budget – just a touch under £10bn in 2016/17 – as far as the total expenditure of the British government goes, it’s peanuts.

The British government spent £778bn last year – we’re talking about spending an amount of money in Northern Ireland over the course of two years that the NHS loses in pen theft over the course of one in England. To match the increase in relative terms, you’d be looking at a £35bn increase in spending.

But, of course, political arguments are about gut instinct rather than actual numbers. The perception that the streets of Antrim are being paved by gold while the public realm in England, Scotland and Wales falls into disrepair is a real danger to the Conservatives.

But the good news for them is that last year Philip Hammond tweaked his targets to give himself greater headroom in case of a Brexit shock. Now the Tories have experienced a shock of a different kind – a Corbyn shock. That shock was partly due to the Labour leader’s good campaign and May’s bad campaign, but it was also powered by anger at cuts to schools and anger among NHS workers at Jeremy Hunt’s stewardship of the NHS. Conservative MPs have already made it clear to May that the party must not go to the country again while defending cuts to school spending.

Hammond can get to slightly under that £35bn and still stick to his targets. That will mean that the DUP still get to rave about their higher-than-average increase, while avoiding another election in which cuts to schools are front-and-centre. But whether that deprives Labour of their “cuts for you, but not for them” attack line is another question entirely. 

Stephen Bush is special correspondent at the New Statesman. His daily briefing, Morning Call, provides a quick and essential guide to domestic and global politics.

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