The Staggers

The New Statesman’s rolling politics blog

Coming to a hospital near you: Andrew Lansley TV

Patients must watch loop of Health Secretary unless they register with £5-a day TV system.

By George Eaton Published 22 November 2011 13:27

Should you have the misfortune to be hospitalised you will now be greeted by a never-ending video of Andrew Lansley. The Health Secretary's face appears on bedside screens on a permanent North Korea-style loop, welcoming patients to hospital and asking them to thank NHS staff for looking after them.

To turn Lansley off, patients must register under a pay-as-you-go system which sees them charged £5 a day to access television, email and phone services. Those who do not register are continuously greeted by the Health Secretary saying:

Hello, I'm Andrew Lansley, the Health Secretary.

I just want to take a few moments to say that your care while you're here in hospital really matters to me. I hope it's as good quality care as we can possibly make it and I do hope you'll join me in thanking all the staff who are looking after you while you're here.

The Independent reported that "In some wards with multiple beds, the screens have the effect of a television showroom, with dozens of Lansleys staring down on the ill." One man who visited an elderly relative said: "It was eerie. Everywhere you looked there was Andrew Lansley. My mother-in-law had to keep topping up the machine just to escape him."

Lansley gamely appeared on the Today programme this morning to defend himself (you can listen to his appearance above) but his response was hilariously inept. He said that he wanted patients to have "as comfortable and as high quality a stay as possible" (a pledge that sits uncomfortably with Lansley TV) and to ensure that they thanked NHS staff. But shouldn't praise be voluntary? And what of those patients who suffer inadequate care?

He pointed out that his predecessor, Andy Burnham, had appeared in a similar video but failed to explain why the government hadn't simply abandoned Secretary of State TV. In the meantime, ensure you avoid the fate of one of Lansley's constituents who lamented that his baby's "first experience of life" was to see the Health Secretary's face on a monitor.

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Tags: andrew lansley NHS

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21 comments

Thu, 2011-11-24 22:58 — Awake!

'Patients must watch loop of Health Secretary unless they register with £5-a day TV system.'
But u can turn it off, and registering costs nothing as does theradio.
You don't get that from the title of the 'piece'.
It's like a lot of the pieces here, just incorrect- yet loot at the moronic masses comments above... and they get to vote hahahahahahahaha

Wed, 2011-11-23 20:41 — Luddite (not verified)

Another independent report has been published which documents how older patients were robbed off their dignity and not even provided with the most basic level of care in our National Health Service. Yesterday’s report from the Patients’ Association makes for grim reading where elderly patients in the NHS have been left without food, water and pain relief. It appears these days some of our little angels care more about their own pay and conditions than caring for our most vulnerable.. Andrew Lansley may as well empty bedpans many of our nurses can't be bothered...

Mon, 2011-11-28 02:33 — Jason (not verified)

I saw this video loop when I was in hospital recently; it includes Andrew Lansley asking for patients to provide feedback... "SO THAT WE CAN CONTINUE IMPROVING THE NHS".

Whether or not the current government is "improving the NHS" is a matter of opinion and this is nothing more than Conservative Party propaganda.

The BBC Today programme treated it like some sort of joke. Utterly disgraceful.

Wed, 2011-11-23 00:44 — Graeme Hancocks (not verified)

He is such a twat.

Wed, 2011-11-23 01:18 — Mrs.Josephine Hyde-Hartley (not verified)

One wonders whether these places have a decent Matron in situ? In my view this set up cannot and does not count as true entertainment which is something one pays attention to voluntarily.

The true spirit of voluntarism, which is perhaps the most important aspect of healing itself, doesn't normally lend itself to such doltish antics.Are we really becoming a nation of brainwashed zombies?

I think some of these executive types are getting these notions of opt-outs in a twist..We should not have to pay attention to such ill-informed technologies - especially when we may not have the inclination, time or energy to spare.

Wed, 2011-11-23 01:32 — p j wall (not verified)

I`d have no problem with pictures of Flashman and Gideon on the toilet paper!!!, and Vote Conservative in the bedpans!!.

Wed, 2011-11-23 14:13 — Marathonman (not verified)

Genuinely creepy. It would be like being stuck in a lift with Max Headroom.

Aaaaarrrggghhhh!!!! let me out of here!!!!

Wed, 2011-11-23 14:28 — Marathonman (not verified)

Death would probably seem like an attractive option. Maybe it's a cunning ruse to free up hospital beds?

Wed, 2011-11-23 14:29 — dfgdcfgh

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Tue, 2011-11-22 13:50 — No whitewash (not verified)

Let Lansley empty bedpans. A disgraceful profiteer, linked to far too many private healthcare companies, a proven liar who has a financial stake in selling off parts of the NHS.

Tue, 2011-11-22 13:59 — Paul1112

This is just the type of story one assumes is a joke, and then in horror, realises that it isn't. It's like bad sci-fi.

Tue, 2011-11-22 14:05 — Petlock (not verified)

Certainly cure or kill...

Tue, 2011-11-22 14:09 — Jac (not verified)

Did Lansley use the NHS budget to pay for this self-promotion?

Thu, 2011-11-24 16:47 — harry hart (not verified)

Can you hire this anywhere? I'm prepared to try anything that isn't an antique or cooking show.

Tue, 2011-11-22 16:21 — David Lindsay

See here - http://www.channel4.com/news/proof-government-plans-to-privatise-nhs

After this, what more will it take for Andrew Lansley's and his party's shilling for American and other private healthcare companies to become as big a scandal as Liam Fox's treason should have been?

Welcome to Tony Blair's fourth term.

Tue, 2011-11-22 16:25 — David Lindsay

Oh, and I have had several hospital stays in this and recent years, but I have never seen the Burnham video. Has Lansley made it up?

Tue, 2011-11-22 16:29 — Nilsey105

Sounds right out of Big Brother manual for propaganda. Lets brain wash the great unwashed.
What goes around comes around the twats time will come.

Tue, 2011-11-22 17:38 — Vegetable Man (not verified)

"Welcome to Tony Blair's fourth term."

I think you'll find it's Maggie Thatcher's eighth.

Tue, 2011-11-22 17:46 — Fergus Pickering (not verified)

When I was in hospital my television was turned off. Is that something that happens only at Saint Thomas's? Very few people wanted to pay a fiver to watch. The stuff on offer was dire. But if it had been free I take it you would rightly have objected at this use ofNHS funds.

Tue, 2011-11-22 17:53 — JohnBaxendale

The purpose of the exercise is to get you to register so you can turn Lansley off. Does the idiot realise that it's only his repulsiveness that makes this scheme work?

Tue, 2011-11-22 19:31 — Jack Holroyde (not verified)

Errrr. Typical of the NS to fail to point out that
1) You can turn the telly off
2) You can turn the telly to face the wall
3) You can turn the sound off and face the telly against the wall. For luck, also place brown paper bag over the telly.