It reads like a biopic so appalling it would finally push the British film industry over the edge. But in fact it's a list of who is playing who as the party leaders enter their final days of rehearsals before the big TV debates kick off.
The ever-excellent Gary Gibbon has revealed the complete list. Show business for ugly people, indeed.
The Labour team
- David Cameron played by Alastair Campbell
- Nick Clegg played by Theo Brennan, a No 10 staffer
- Alastair Stewart/Adam Boulton/David Dimbleby played by David Muir, Labour's top pollster
The Tory team
- Gordon Brown played by Damian Green
- Nick Clegg played by Jeremy Hunt
- Alastair Stewart/Adam Boulton/David Dimbleby played by Michael Gove
The Lib Dem team
- Gordon Brown played by Chris Huhne
- David Cameron played by David Laws