It is with a heavy heart that I must announce Nigel Farage is at it again.
The on-again, off-again Ukip leader and current Member of the European Parliament has appeared at a Donald Trump rally to lend his support to the presidential candidate.
It was, predictably, distressing.
Farage started by telling his American audience why they, like he, should be positive.
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“I come to you from the United Kingdom” –
Okay, good start. Undeniably true.
“– with a message of hope –”
Again, probably quite true.
Image: Clearly hopeful (Wikipedia Screenshot)
– and optimism.”
Ah.
Image: Nigel Farage in front of a poster showing immigrants who are definitely not European (Getty)
He continues: “If the little people, if the real people–”
Wait, what?
Why is Trump nodding sagely at this?
The little people?
Image: It’s a plane with the name Trump on it (Wikimedia Commons)
THE LITTLE PEOPLE?
Image: It’s the word Trump on the side of a skyscraper I can’t cope with this (Pixel)
THE ONLY LITTLE PERSON CLOSE TO TRUMP IS RIDING A MASSIVE STUFFED LION
Image: I don’t even know what to tell you. It’s Trump and his wife and a child riding a stuffed lion.
IN A PENTHOUSE
A PENTHOUSE WHICH LOOKS LIKE LIBERACE WAS LET LOOSE WITH THE GILT ON DAY FIVE OF A PARTICULARLY BAD BENDER
Image: So much gold. Just gold, everywhere.
HIS WIFE HAS SO MANY BAGS SHE HAS TO EMPLOY A BAG MAN TO CARRY THEM
Image: I did not even know there were so many styles of Louis Vuitton, and my dentists has a lot of old copies of Vogue.
Anyway. Back to Farage, who is telling the little people that they can win “against the forces of global corporatism”.
Image: Aaaaarggghhhh (Wikipedia Screenshot)
Ugh. Okay. What next? Oh god, he’s telling them they can have a Brexit moment.
They will soon be calling me MR. BREXIT!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 18, 2016
“… you can beat Washington…”
It is time to bring competence to Washington. It is time get results. Let’s Make America Great Again! https://t.co/u25yI6aIvG
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 2, 2015
“… if enough decent people…”
26,000 unreported sexual assults in the military-only 238 convictions. What did these geniuses expect when they put men & women together?
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 7, 2013
“…are prepared to stand up against the establishment”
Image: A screenshot from Donald Trump’s Wikipedia page.
I think I need a lie down.
Watch the full clip here: