View all newsletters
Sign up to our newsletters

Support 110 years of independent journalism.

  1. Politics
  2. The Staggers
6 December 2017updated 09 Sep 2021 6:11pm

6 times the Tories warned that voting Labour would usher in chaos

Irony tastes so much better when left to cool over two years.

By Joel Kyereme

Remember the 2015 general election? Revisiting it with hindsight, it’s as if David Cameron could see the future. Because even then, he was warning about the dangers of a coalition of chaos. And how right he was, with just one small exception…

1. “Chaos with Ed Miliband”

Two-and-a-half years on and this divine prophecy has come to pass – well, almost. Replace “Ed Miliband” with Theresa May and “me” with anybody – literally, anybody – and you have the current political state of affairs.

Even go one further and replace the person who tweeted it with you. Just copy and paste the tweet and post it as your own. It will make absolute sense.

Select and enter your email address Your weekly guide to the best writing on ideas, politics, books and culture every Saturday. The best way to sign up for The Saturday Read is via saturdayread.substack.com The New Statesman's quick and essential guide to the news and politics of the day. The best way to sign up for Morning Call is via morningcall.substack.com Our Thursday ideas newsletter, delving into philosophy, criticism, and intellectual history. The best way to sign up for The Salvo is via thesalvo.substack.com Stay up to date with NS events, subscription offers & updates. Weekly analysis of the shift to a new economy from the New Statesman's Spotlight on Policy team. The best way to sign up for The Green Transition is via spotlightonpolicy.substack.com
  • Administration / Office
  • Arts and Culture
  • Board Member
  • Business / Corporate Services
  • Client / Customer Services
  • Communications
  • Construction, Works, Engineering
  • Education, Curriculum and Teaching
  • Environment, Conservation and NRM
  • Facility / Grounds Management and Maintenance
  • Finance Management
  • Health - Medical and Nursing Management
  • HR, Training and Organisational Development
  • Information and Communications Technology
  • Information Services, Statistics, Records, Archives
  • Infrastructure Management - Transport, Utilities
  • Legal Officers and Practitioners
  • Librarians and Library Management
  • Management
  • Marketing
  • OH&S, Risk Management
  • Operations Management
  • Planning, Policy, Strategy
  • Printing, Design, Publishing, Web
  • Projects, Programs and Advisors
  • Property, Assets and Fleet Management
  • Public Relations and Media
  • Purchasing and Procurement
  • Quality Management
  • Science and Technical Research and Development
  • Security and Law Enforcement
  • Service Delivery
  • Sport and Recreation
  • Travel, Accommodation, Tourism
  • Wellbeing, Community / Social Services
Visit our privacy Policy for more information about our services, how Progressive Media Investments may use, process and share your personal data, including information on your rights in respect of your personal data and how you can unsubscribe from future marketing communications.
THANK YOU

Speaking of Good Ol’ Ed, the wonderful account @TheMiliverse, an account I’m sure the former Labour leader runs himself, couldn’t resist having a go.

Ed might not have been deemed tough enough to lead Britain back, but in an alternate universe somewhere he’s preparing rather nicely for a cosy, non-dramatic EU summit.

2. “All other options will end in chaos”

Cameron warns that Britain “has the chance of a strong, stable Government – but only if you vote Conservative. All other options will end in chaos”. (Sound familiar?) When voters enter the polling booth, they can “stop Ed Miliband being held to ransom by Nicola Sturgeon” and “secure our economy and the Union”.

Well, yes. Theresa May is currently being dictated to by the Democratic Unionist Party, at the expense of all other geopolitical concerns, while Wales and Scotland become increasingly resentful. Or maybe he meant a United Ireland.

3. “Secure the strong, stable leadership”

The words “strong and stable” resonated so much for Theresa May that when she succeeded Cameron as Prime Minister, she couldn’t resist saying it every 15 minutes.

4. Negotiating chaos

In a Facebook post, May warns that Corbyn’s “shambolic prospectus ducks all the difficult decisions we face as a country, threatening to bring chaos to Britain and selling future generations short”. Then she tweets it for good measure.

 

If she had lost *just* six seats (and not 13) I’m sure she would’ve been delighted.

5. #Magicmoneytree

Voting for Labour, the Tories insisted, would be like voting not just for chaos but for a fantasy world in which bearded socialists plucked shiny coins off the “magic money tree”.

Of course, there is no magic money tree. Except here’s the post-election punchline – there IS when you need to form an alliance with the Democratic Unionist Party to stay in power. And not just any magic money tree – a £1.5bn supercrop.  

6. Jezza on your toast

Brexiteers like Boris Johnson warned their fellow Leave voters that despite his lukewarm appreciation of Brussels, Jeremy Corbyn would be no match for the EU leaders waiting on the Continent. Whereas the Tories would be able to have their cake and eat it. 

What a shame BoJo didn’t come up with a nickname for DUP leader Arlene Foster. 

Coming up next time on Tory Tweets That Didn’t Age Well….

Content from our partners
The Apprenticeship Levy: Achieving educational parity
How to solve youth unemployment
Scientists are united to end malaria in our lifetimes

Select and enter your email address Your weekly guide to the best writing on ideas, politics, books and culture every Saturday. The best way to sign up for The Saturday Read is via saturdayread.substack.com The New Statesman's quick and essential guide to the news and politics of the day. The best way to sign up for Morning Call is via morningcall.substack.com Our Thursday ideas newsletter, delving into philosophy, criticism, and intellectual history. The best way to sign up for The Salvo is via thesalvo.substack.com Stay up to date with NS events, subscription offers & updates. Weekly analysis of the shift to a new economy from the New Statesman's Spotlight on Policy team. The best way to sign up for The Green Transition is via spotlightonpolicy.substack.com
  • Administration / Office
  • Arts and Culture
  • Board Member
  • Business / Corporate Services
  • Client / Customer Services
  • Communications
  • Construction, Works, Engineering
  • Education, Curriculum and Teaching
  • Environment, Conservation and NRM
  • Facility / Grounds Management and Maintenance
  • Finance Management
  • Health - Medical and Nursing Management
  • HR, Training and Organisational Development
  • Information and Communications Technology
  • Information Services, Statistics, Records, Archives
  • Infrastructure Management - Transport, Utilities
  • Legal Officers and Practitioners
  • Librarians and Library Management
  • Management
  • Marketing
  • OH&S, Risk Management
  • Operations Management
  • Planning, Policy, Strategy
  • Printing, Design, Publishing, Web
  • Projects, Programs and Advisors
  • Property, Assets and Fleet Management
  • Public Relations and Media
  • Purchasing and Procurement
  • Quality Management
  • Science and Technical Research and Development
  • Security and Law Enforcement
  • Service Delivery
  • Sport and Recreation
  • Travel, Accommodation, Tourism
  • Wellbeing, Community / Social Services
Visit our privacy Policy for more information about our services, how Progressive Media Investments may use, process and share your personal data, including information on your rights in respect of your personal data and how you can unsubscribe from future marketing communications.
THANK YOU