Other politicians may have resigned themselves to the consequences of Brexit, but one, the SNP’s Colin Beattie, is not going to stand for it.
The MSP for Midlothian North and Musselburgh has lodged a motion for debate on the fate of Toblerone lovers, after the Swiss chocolate maker changed the shape of its iconic bars.
The motion urges the Scottish Parliament to note with concern the recent decision “to widen the gaps between the segments of the iconic Swiss chocolate bar, Toblerone” and “offer its condolences to those mourning this change in the bar”.
Beattie told The Staggers: “I like Toblerone, and I like it how it is traditional, with its nice, tight triangular pieces.
“Now they have changed it. Clearly it is a matter of international importance that it has happened and it is obviously a by-product of Brexit.”
He said the decision to reduce the weight of the bar had affected the enjoyment of the product.
“The whole challenge was to do the impossible by breaking apart these tight triangles,” he explained. “Now they have made it far too easy for us.
“It was man versus product. You worked for it.”
Beattie said he feared that if Toblerone could make such a dramatic change, other treats could be next.
“My whole life has been spent with with the certainty of Toblerone bars,” he lamented. The shape, the texture, the consistency – now it is gone. It is devastating.”
Colin Beattie’s motion in full:
That the Parliament notes with concern Mondelez International’s recent decision to widen the gaps between the segments of the iconic Swiss chocolate bar, Toberlone, in the UK; understands that this was made in order to allay rising costs for numerous ingredients; believes that this is emblematic of the devastating consequences that Brexit could bring; offers its condolences to those mourning this change in the bar; calls on the UK Governmetn to take speedy action to rectify the change, but wishes the company the best possible success with the lighter bar.
It seems Beattie’s mission has sparked some discussion among his rivals. A Labour source got in touch to say: “This took us by surprise – the SNP’s whole mission is greater separation. Even the most sweet-toothed of Scottish taxpayers must be wondering if this is the best use of parliamentary time, some might even say Mr Beattie is about as much use as a chocolate teapot.”